Bliss
by FallWriter1135
Summary: After a repeating cycle of 11 worlds that ended with suffering and grief, Akise Aru decides everyone and himself have had enough. Destroying the causes of such pain, Akise entirely changes the 12 lives and experiences of the former holders in the new world for the best. Now what will he do after doing such mischief? Go after his beloved!
1. Prologue

A/N: My apologies for those of you who followed the first write, but I decided to rewrite it for the better. Enjoy.

* * *

_"No mistakes this time! I'll make Yukiteru-kun happy…"_

His soft words pounded her head continuously as she was running down these empty streets of Sakurami City. Her violet eyes were unfocused, blazing with a sorrow she had no idea she had in her. These words wouldn't leave her head as she kept running, but she didn't know what from. All she knew was that the Observer broke free of the Akashic Records, caused destruction of the imaginary space, and that… among the process, had killed Deus.

She didn't understand. Why would he do so much over _one _boy? One pathetic, cowardly, and half-attractive boy, that could easily be bettered off by the plenty of other fish in the sea. Additionally, this was a boy whose fate was entwined with a girl's. Murmur didn't know what Akise was planning, but she _didn't_ want him ruining their relationship. She finds them perfect together, so perfect that someone as self-righteous as Akise shouldn't be caught in the middle. Yet, she knew thinking he shouldn't wouldn't do much harm to his plans anyway. This caused her to huff and ball her hands into paling fists.

With her powers, Murmur had as much control over Akise as much as Deus did. Given that much ability, surely would have allowed her to make him return back to where he belonged, which was the Akashic Records. However, since he destroyed her home (it had been her home for trillions of centuries) completely, she had no power left. She had nothing left _at all_.

"Bring deserved justice to my Observer."

Murmur never did anything for Deus. Going back through these 11 worlds, back to the very first, she could care any less about her superior but as she did go through the memories of the worlds slowly, she started to realize how much she began to appreciate him. In most of the starting worlds 1-5, she was the rulebreaking and scheming servant that he always scolded. He could never find any reason to spare his time for her or see her in a better light.

But this Deus… This Deus was much different than the former ones in the past worlds. This Deus wasn't the war-raging and conceited Deus that she grew used to. This Deus that Akise had killed, was the opposite of the formers. Deus had spent his time, not raging wars, but talking to Murmur. They would spend millenniums of time talking to each other, about absolutely anything, and the subject of when Deus was due to die never came up. The games never came up. Nothing relating to their extraordinary differences ever surfaced in such conversations.

If they weren't talking, Murmur was explaining to Deus the appeal of shoujo and shounen manga. He would listen. He wouldn't pretend to be listening and actually be thinking about the next person to die in the games. After she would be done explaining, he would tell her that he would appreciate it if they read it together sometime.

Damn it. Stinging pain pierced Murmur's heart as she stopped running, her body burning too much to keep it up. Tears were threatening to fall from her glossing eyes, but she stubbornly held them back. No, she refused to believe that she had grown so comfortable around Deus that she actually… No, she wouldn't even think about it.

When the park came into her view, she immediately sat down on the closest bench her aching body could limp towards. She watched as two humans blindly bumped each other while walking their dogs. They apologized to each other, yards away from where Murmur sat yet she could still read their lips as they started talking to each other comfortably. It was like one of those scenes from a shoujo panel, the leading lady has finally found her one.

Once they finished talking, the male had given the female his number and walked the opposite way after giving her his hearty farewells. The female, visibly overjoyed and gushy, walked forwards and held her cell phone the way a teenage girl would after her boyfriend settled a date. Murmur bit her lip, almost crying in confusing tears of happiness and sadness at the same time. She was happy for those two and she was sad, because…..

Just as she was about to let herself cry, a familiar silhouette came into her eyesight. She went wide-eyed as he sauntered through the park pathway with his hands in pockets, disappearing into the small garden of trees. She had to think fast to go after him and set him straight! Before she took any action at all of getting up and going after him, she shook her head and decided it was a bad idea.

She would need to counter him somewhere private and not so open like this park. Come to think of it, she needed to organize herself quickly if she was going to live her life like a human. Rather, an abnormally short and unprepared human. Oh was living without supernatural abilities going to be difficult….


	2. 1: Changes of the Same Places

Everything was so different today. Akise stopped his bike in front of a steep mountain trail that continued onto a seemingly unending thicket. He pulled his bike along as he walked up the steep mountain trail. The sun shined up in the blue sky, barely any clouds up, it added a hopeful atmosphere as Akise finally reached the top and continued onto the thicket.

When he heard running water, he knew that he was close to home. Akise smiled to himself. The first smile he's had for awhile since the worlds. He stopped at the very front of his home, a shoin-zukuri designed home with two ponds between the lawn bridge that he carefully walked over and set his bike against the left side of his house. After the fifth world, he decided to move from an open neighborhood and go somewhere quiet and private where he could sleep more peacefully.

Back in the other worlds, it would get harder to sleep, especially if he lived in a neighborhood that Gasai Yuno could raid any moment to kill him in his sleep. The past worlds haunted him and the after-cause of such gave him Insomnia. He hasn't had a good night's sleep since the last time he kissed Yukiteru and had a chance to smell his lovely scent, which felt like forever since then. He sighed. Even now, it would be difficult to sleep because he couldn't stop worrying about his beloved.

He opened the slide doors, closing it once he stepped in to be greeted by his sparse entry room. There was a fireplace on the center wall facing him with only two cushions in front of it, a stack of logs were leaning on the left of the fireplace. Living out in the middle of an unremembered thicket meant no electricity and no communication from the rest of the world, though Akise preferred it that way. Unlike Gasai, he didn't spam Yukiteru with texts. He would always let Yukiteru talk to him first.

He lit a candle and carried it as he walked over to sit down on one of the cushions. He added logs from the stack on the left side, to the empty fireplace and then added the flame of the candle to the logs. His fireplace crackled, immediately calming him down by its comforting warmth. Akise's smile dropped as he pulled his jacket off, staring at the fire and then at his backpack.

He had a lot of homework to do. Being a diligent and devoted student to his school, he always jumped to it and spent four hours absolutely concentrating on no other than his homework until it was right and until he had everything he needed to pass a test. His parents would try averting his attention from it, but he wouldn't take a break from his homework.

He shook his head. He didn't feel like it today. Akise kicked his backpack further away and curled up onto the other pillow, using his jacket as a makeshift blanket. He stared at the fire.

What had happened to his parents? That was simple. Akise watched in many worlds, as they both died. His mother would die in car accidents and his father would commit suicide from the agony of losing his wife. In some worlds, Gasai would make him watch as she killed them off, or he would do it himself...

_Akise sat up from his troubling sleep. He looked around his dim and sparse bedroom. It was quiet. He reached over and pulled his lamp on. As he slid out of bed, his eyes widened at a sudden crack of glass breaking and then a scream. A scream that sounded so much like… his mother's voice!_

_Bolting out of his bedroom, uncaring if he was still in his blue pajamas, he raced down the stairs to find his mother being held at knifepoint to her throat. She was crying. Akise's eyes stayed wide as he realized it was Gasai Yuno holding his _own _mother at knifepoint. _

"_It's about time to you came out of your room, Akise Aru." Gasai said darkly, "I was getting bored."_

"_What are you doing here?" He asked calmly. He knew that she had another side of her he could easily reach if he stayed focused and calm about this situation right now. "Wouldn't Yukiteru-kun be upset with you if he knew what you were doing right now?"_

_Sure as he was, he caught a flash of fear in her eyes before it disappeared as fast as it was there. She was glaring at him. Carelessly and rather harshly, she let Akise's mother fall to the carpet on her side. Just as he was about to run over to her, Gasai stood in front of him. She shoved him down on the couch harshly. _

"_Listen here, Akise Aru, if you send __my__ Yuki another one of those texts or dare to steal him away from me, I'll kill everyone you ever loved." She said angrily. "Now, you have to swear on your parents' life."_

_Akise stared at her blankly as he sat himself up on the couch._

"_You're selfish. Yukiteru-kun doesn't deserve to be through such pain. It's your fault he's so vulnerable and paranoid now."_

"…_.What did you say?!"_

"_You heard me. You're the reason Yukiteru-kun is scared of the world! Why should I make a promise that will be the death of the Yukiteru-kun we both love? I'm going to protect him from everything and I'm going to give him all the love in the world." _

"…_You bastard. HE'S MINE!"_

"_Yukiteru-kun is his own person. You can be possessive all you wish, but he deserves freedom! Do you realize how many times he's cried about how scared of his own life he is? He attempted suicide once because of you."_

"…_.YUKI WOULD NEVER!"_

_Akise stood up._

"_You're too delusional to accept the simple facts!"_

_His father raced down the stairs at this point, bewildered at the yelling._

"_What's going on, Aru?"_

"_Father! Go back upstairs, quickly!"_

"_Aru, what is—?!"_

"_Go back upstairs, Akihiro!" cried Akise's mother._

_Gasai started laughing hysterically as she listened to this family. She tossed her head back, her pigtails swaying behind her head as she kept laughing. Was this supposed to be an example of a loving family? Her father and mother wouldn't give a damn if she was being held at knifepoint. In fact, they would cheer the assailant on as her throat was getting slit. She laughed to the point that she was nearly whimpering. Akise narrowed his eyes at her before averting his attention back to his stunned father. _

"_If you don't go back upstairs, we're all going to die. Lock your door."_

"_Aru, your mother—"_

"…_I know. You have to go without us, father. Call the police once you've locked the door."_

_Gasai's laughs silenced, her face shadowed._

"_You're wrong, Akise Aru. The only people dying here are your parents."_

"…_..Don't!"_

"_Then, you have to swear on their lives you'll stay away from __MY__ Yuki!"_

"_He isn't yours or mine! He belongs to himself. I refuse to accept that he has to go through such pain!"_

"_In that case…."_

"_Gasai-san! DON'T—"_

_She stuck the knife into his mother's heart. Akise froze, wide-eyed as he watched the blood stain through his mother's chemise. She bled out, becoming limp and lifeless on the carpet. Akihiro, Akise's father, sank to his knees at the start of the stairs with watering eyes as he stared at his dying wife. Gasai laughed again._

"_This is entertaining than I thought!" _

"_Atsuko…" Akihiro was crawling to her body, but Akise stood in front of him to stop him._

"_Don't, father. You're all I have left."_

"…_Aru, promise me you'll stay away from that boy."_

"…_.Father, why would you betray me like this?"_

_Gasai grinned. She seemed to have gotten one of their weaknesses taken care of. At this point, Akise would have no choice but to stay away from her Yuki._

"_Please stay away from him…"_

"_…Stop it, father! You're not thinking logically—"_

_SMACK!_

_Gasai clapped her palm to her mouth, grinning behind it as she watched Akise hit the floor with his cheek bright red. Akihiro stood up, staring down at his son blankly._

"_Your mother was the sacrifice of your actions… I've taught you better than to be __so __selfish."_

_Akise sat up, clutching his cheek as he stared at Akihiro just as blankly._

"_There's a fine line between selfishness and possessiveness…" Akise's face was obscured by his hair. He rubbed his cheek slightly before forcing himself up. "In the other worlds, you knew those lines and differences…"_

"_What?" _

_Gasai raised her eyebrow silently. Did he say what she thought he said?_

"YOU WERE TAUGHT BETTER THAN THIS, FATHER!" _shouted Akise._

_Akihiro's eyes widened._

"_IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT WHAT I'M TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH… THEN, YOU CAN DIE, TOO!"_

_Gasai stepped back, confused. This wasn't what she was expecting, at all. Akise ran to the kitchen, pulling a sharp knife from one of the drawers. He walked out with his face still obscured and the knife shining brightly in his hand. Akihiro stepped back, walking to his wife's bleeding body._

"_Aru… Put that down."_

"_Die…" Akise lunged over to his father and repeatedly stabbed his stomach. Blood splattered onto the carpeting. His father dropped beside his mother, bleeding out with her. With the last of his life left, he reached over and grasped his wife's hand. Akise dropped the knife and stepped back, disgusted at his actions as he clutched his blood-stained pajama shirt._

"…_I'm not staying away from Yukiteru-kun, Gasai-san." He said thickly._

_Gasai blinked, staring at him with mere concern but mostly with amusement. He'd be a fun challenge._

"…_.Now, get out of _my_ house." He walked back upstairs to his room and never bothered to clean up his mess until the next day._

Akise's eyes were clenched shut. He regretted it. He was as bad as Gasai, but he would change himself this world. He promised that, because sooner or later, he was going to erase his memories and forget all about the mistakes he's made. He reopened his eyes and was warmed by the crackling fireplace. He quietly sighed, snuggling into the cushions and his makeshift blanket.

Akise stared up at the ceiling, losing himself in thought. His first day at the same school, it was different compared to the other worlds. Tsubaki Kasugano had enrolled into the school but was in a different class than them. She was very popular for being the focus of the Omekata Religion. Hino Hinata, Nonosaka Mao, and Kousaka Ouji were in the same class as him. Since his seat was different this year, they didn't approach him first. Gasai Yuno and Amano Yukiteru were in the same class together as Akise was, but with different seats.

What stunned Akise the most is Yukiteru. Yukiteru had spoken to him _first_. Usually, it was the other way around, but this world's Yukiteru was… stronger, happier, and smarter. He wasn't the adorable boy who was paranoid and scared of the world. This world's revision of that boy had the very world in _his hands_ and he wasn't scared to show it.

Akise didn't know how he felt about that. He was sure that he was worried and he knew he still had the same feelings for Yukiteru, but he seems so happy with Gasai… Akise frowned. Very slowly, Akise started to wonder, was it worth pursuing him anymore?


	3. 2: Friends and Inner-Conflictions

The next day, Akise spent lunch sitting alone at an outside table. He didn't get any sleep last night. Too many thoughts of this world's Gasai and her capability of causing gore filled his mind, ceasing him to relax. Instead, he spent his night holding his inactive cellphone against his chest, wondering still if it was worth pursuing the boy he loves so unconditionally and sweetly, yet it was one-sided.

Hadn't it always been one-sided? In every world, Akise had always lost or died early. Just thinking about it churned and sickened the pit of his stomach. He paled and shoved his lunch away to the other side of the table, clutching his mouth. He needed to erase his memories. These memories of the following worlds were leaving a permanent scar branded in his thoughts.

He set his palm on his lap, sighing softly. Thinking like that wouldn't do him any good and besides, he didn't know this world's Gasai directly. All he in fact knew was that she's Yukiteru's girlfriend and a well-respected student. Though, it was expected of an intelligent and, dare Akise describe, adorable girl such as herself.

He didn't feel like talking to any of them right now. He needed space to clear these negative thoughts and graphic memories. He didn't how much space though. Eating and sleeping alike were going to be challenges for him to accomplish, since all that he's been through has paused both. He hoped he didn't look sleepy.

Akise rested his chin onto his arms, immediately getting too comfortable than normal and fluttering his eyelids drowsily. He could skip the rest of school and head home for a long mind-clearing nap. He could stay though. He was getting so comfortable after all. Just a little longer… He found himself drifting off when he suddenly blinked.

He caught sight of him. Amano Yukiteru was walking from inside the cafeteria to join the exterior of it, without his beanie to cover his tempting hair that smelled of peaches. Akise looked away slowly, pretending to be interested in his bento when he noticed Yukiteru look up from texting on his cellphone.

Part of him excited over the possibility of Yukiteru sitting next to him and part of him was panicking that the first part could be right. He was conflicted. He didn't mind Yukiteru, it was just… complicated. Complicated because he was braver than he used to be in the previous worlds, he was easygoing to all of his peers and he was… ripped. Goodness. He shouldn't think about that.

"Akise!"

_He'ssoscrewed._

Akise blinked, feigning innocence as he looked up to meet Yukiteru's unchanged face. Well, it would be unchanged if it hadn't been for the cheeky grin Yukiteru wore, which itself wasn't something Akise was used to.

"Yes, Yukiteru-kun?"

"Can I sit with you? Yuno went shopping with the girls and Kosaka actually ditched _me_!" Yukiteru emphasized his mortification and shock by writing it on his expression before grinning cheekily again. "I'm not so bad to hang out with. I swear."

"…" Akise hadn't expected an explanation. He smiled nonetheless. "You are welcome to sit with me any time you would like." It didn't stop Akise from feeling used, though if it made Yukiteru happy, he didn't mind so much.

"Thanks!" Yukiteru sat opposite of him and raised his eyebrow at Akise's unopened bento. "You haven't ate anything?"

"Hunger is only a state of mind." Akise scoffed.

Yukiteru rolled his eyes.

"If we're going to be friends, you need to get rid of that attitude."

"…" Akise stared at Yukiteru, dumbfound. He shook his head. "You don't want to be friends with me."

"You're a liar."

"How so?"

"Because I _do _want to be friends with you and only I know what I want."

Akise's heart fluttered. If only Yukiteru could say the next set of words he's been dying to hear throughout these series of unending torturous worlds. He was mentally begging for it as he stared expectantly at the new Yukiteru in front of him who was only grinning as he went on.

"As friends, I want your number."

"I don't have communication services where I live." Akise mentioned to be truthful.

"Where are you living then?" asked Yukiteru.

"Somewhere."

"Typical Akise," snickered Yukiteru.

"You don't know much about me."

"You don't know much about me either."

Akise sighed softly, he looked down at his lap. He didn't know what to say. Yukiteru, the one he had been so familiar with, could struggle on what to talk about and Akise would help him talk to him. They would talk for hours after that, enjoying each other's company. But this Yukiteru… he said words that confused and conflicted Akise. The conflictions left him speechless and uncontrollable as his feelings begin to spill. Then, this confusion wasn't anything he was used to.

He stared back at Yukiteru. He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and handed it to Yukiteru. His heart wouldn't stop racing as he made eye contact with this cobalt eyes that stared at him so curiously. Akise didn't know if he could stand it any longer. What if Gasai and Yukiteru's friends suddenly came back, pouncing all over them with questions and assumptions that would leave them both intoxicated of any air?

He felt unsteady and uneasy by now. Yukiteru was so carefree, slowly dialing their numbers into each other's phones with that now signature grin of his. Akise watched, hypnotized by the moving of those eyes. He quickly looked down at his backpack that he was currently packing his bento into. He wanted to make sure he didn't accidently open the case and have his uneaten meal spill over his newfound homework or textbooks.

Yukiteru outstretched his cellphone back to him which he took.

"Thank you." He smiled.

"You're welcome, but do you really have no communication services?" asked Yukiteru.

"I choose to live somewhere private." Akise half-answered it.

"You would." He's snickering again and it flutters Akise's heart at how bittersweet it sounds. "You can install communication services though, I know this guy whose pretty good at it."

"Why should I install it though? I don't text anyone."

"Isn't it obvious? I want to be texting _you._"

"I'm not fun to talk to."

"I beg to differ."

"Go on."

"So, he's good at it. His name is Balks John and his store is called Holon of Electronics. He set up my internet and boy, is he one electronic geek." Yukiteru teased.

"Balks John…" Akise repeated the name softly. The former eleventh holder was now a storeowner of electronics and communication setup services? Akise had expected him to be mayor again, but this was a pleasant change. It meant he could do something he enjoyed without causing trouble. Akise found out in one of the worlds that one in many of Balks' hobby was that he knew his electronics differences, how to set them up, how to disconnect, and how to fix a malfunction. "I'll do it some other day."

"But I won't to spam you today!" Yukiteru complained.

"You can start messaging me next Monday. I have so much stuff to take care of this week, you wouldn't believe…" He trailed off with an exasperated sigh, running his fingers through his hair tiredly.

Yukiteru frowned, concerned.

"Maybe I could help you out with something—"

"YUKI~~!" rang out a melodic voice from the unseen side of the cafeteria building.

Of course that would have happened. Akise stood up from his chair, throwing the backpack over his shoulder. Yukiteru stood up, outstretching his hand to Akise's shoulder.

"I have to get going. I'll talk to you some other day." He didn't look back to see Yukiteru's expression when he sprinted off.


	4. 3: Tears That Fall

Akise biked from school to a convenient store. He was running out of food and he decided he was going to spend the rest of the day sleeping. He locked his bike outside the store. When he stepped in, he saw someone he hadn't expected to see right away today.

The former fifth holder was reading the daily newspaper, having his intelligence it wasn't surprising to Akise. He went on to notice the former seventh holders next to him. As he wanted them to, they adopted him. Akise inwardly smiled, but he didn't feel so good expressing it openly. It must have been because he felt so sick. He was overjoyed for his little brother though and wanted to congratulate him, but he couldn't risk ruining his happiness.

"Rei-chan! Put that away." said Mikami Ai as she took the newspaper away, shaking her head. "You're too young to be caring about the news, Rei-chan."

"Way too young. I remember when I read my first newspaper, it was in…." started her boyfriend, Ikusaba Marco.

"High school, Marco." She finished for him.

"….I could have sworn it was before that!" He quipped.

"Mmhm." There was skeptic in Ai's voice.

Akise helped himself to four packs of instant Ramen and set it on the pay counter, reaching into his pocket for the needed Yen. He paid for it and stuffed it into one of the offered convenient store bags. As he walked out of the store, he nearly face planted from scatters of toys on the ground when he was caught by none other than Marco. He sighed in relief. He was really panicky though, he didn't want to talk to them for more than one reason why.

"You okay, kid?"asked Marco.

"I told you not to drop your toys, Rei-chan." chided Ai softly,

"Sorry, mama, I wanted to catch somebody interesting!" Reisuke chirped.

"…Rei-chan! People aren't fishes you can net up when you want."

"Sorry about that, my kid's a little eccentric." explained Marco nervously.

He helped Akise up, even brushing dirt off of his clothes for him.

"Thank you… That's okay, he's a really cute and energetic boy." said Akise, staring at Reisuke with a sweet smile. "Please…." He paused, frowning, "take good care of him. He needs so much love right now after everything he's been through." Sorrow chorded Akise's voice as he held back streams of tears. He hurts so much for his little brother.

Marco raised his eyebrow. Ai pulled Reisuke from the ground into her arms, hugging him warmly as she listened to this boy's words warily. She had the impression that this boy himself had been through so much. She couldn't shake that feeling, but she was going to listen and never mistreat Reisuke in any sort of way his deceased parents could have. Marco seemed a little unconvinced and worried at the same time.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry…" Akise muttered softly, bowing to be polite. When he got up, he quickly unlocked his bike and zoomed off. He had to get away right then or he would break down in front of them and cause another public hysteria like he had done in one of the former worlds. His heart aches too much for everyone… His heart ached especially for Yukiteru and Reisuke. They meant so much to him and they suffered all because of…. Tears were already rushing down his cheeks as he biked faster.

What was he expecting? Did he really think all of it would be easy because they're all happy? That he could just walk up to Yukiteru, kiss him again, and they're an item? Sure, he gave Gasai, as he did to everyone, a much better life. However, that didn't mean she would accept this with open arms. She could still be murderous, hidden by a girlish and innocent demeanor as she always was in the other worlds.

He hated it. He hated that the worlds softened and struck him this badly. He wanted to remember those early days, in either the first or second world where he could sleep and eat peacefully. He would dream of Yukiteru in his sleep, smiling as he saw visuals of them being together. He would eat and compliment his mother's cooking when he was home to eat dinner with his family.

He doubted all of it. His mother and father were probably as real as he was. What the hell was he honestly thinking? He's himself? That's impossible. Deus had been right and he had been wrong. He didn't know why it hurt so badly to run away from Yukiteru and Reisuke like that. He didn't know why he was thinking so self-critically. He just needed to…. go.

A shriek averted his attention. He was close to clashing his bike into Murmur when he abruptly pulled his bike on break. He stared at her, tears continuing to run down his cheeks as she neared him.

"Akise Aru…" She started.

"…" He broke down, crying hard into his arms that rested on the handlebars. "Get it over with…."

Murmur frowned. Her motherly instincts kicked in and she found herself comfortingly rubbing his back in slow circles as she tried hard to stop herself from letting her own tears out.

"Stop crying and saying those things… You're going to make me upset."

Akise laughed quietly as he cried.

"From the start, I was nothing… I didn't belong with Yukiteru-kun. I was foolish to think… I had a chance with him. Everyone's better off happy without their lives disrupted. I want them to continue being happy without my presence in it. Kill me, Murmur. Deus would want you to."

"I'm not going to do that." She glared.

"Okay…. I can do it for you."

"_Akise. Aru. _Don't make me slap you! You're being hysterical!"

"Kill me already! Stop making me suffer… I already know it's pointless—"

"AKISE ARU!"

SMACK!

Akise clutched his dark red cheek. Blinking, he snapped out of his delirious daze and wiped his face harshly.

"I'm sorry about that… I'm feeling really sick lately." He laughed weakly. He sighed out shaky breaths as he regained more of his composure. "Murmur… do you have any sweets?"

"….We need to clean you up." She grumbled, pulling his bike full force as she walked the sidewalk.  
"Don't do that. I'll bike us there." He protested quietly.

"As if I believe that, Akise Aru." Murmur's expression blanked. She rolled her eyes and yanked his bike harder.

"Be careful!" Akise started, afraid for his bike.

-3-

After so much arguing and yanking, they were inside Akise's home. Murmur had locked his bike outside the house and was currently warming up some tea that she learned how to make from a nice woman at her job. She was told that tea calmed down the mind and made people sleepy sometimes. It was the perfect medicine for Akise's Insomnia streak. Or at least, she was told such.

He was laying upstairs in his futon, shoes and jacket off that Murmur took and put away in their rightful places. Akise stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, the bags under his eyes very obvious in his lying position. He pulled the blankets closer to his body for warmth. He didn't get it. Why was Murmur helping him? Isn't she supposed to be angry with him for destroying her home? Isn't she supposed to seeking revenge? Why… He kept asking himself.

Restless, he shifted and turned at different sides and angles to be comfortable. When none were comfortable enough, he rolled off his futon and huffed to himself as he closed his eyes, deciding the floorboards wouldn't be too bad.

"Idiot! That will hurt your back." growled Murmur, she set the cup of tea down on his end table and helped him _yet again _onto the futon. She loosened and pulled off his tie, muttering about how he has a death wish if he sleeps with that thing on as she hung it in his closet with his many other clothes.

"Murmurrrrr…." He drawled. "Do you have any sweeeets?"

"Idiot!" She whacked him with a pillow until he shut up and lie back to the pillows. She sighed angrily. "You aren't in the state of mind to ask for anything." She crossed her arms, sitting at the edge of the futon. "Now, drink your tea."

Akise sighed as if he was given a difficult chore. He reached for it and pulled the cup to his lips, draining it of the tea he used to love so much but now tasted flavorless. Involuntarily, his senses and body relaxed. He was blinking and trying hard to stay wide awake. He looked at Murmur suspiciously, catching sight of her grinning down at him.

"Have a nice sleep, Akise Aru. You seriously need one." mumbled Murmur. She walked out of his bedroom and slammed the door shut. He fluttered his eyelids, shifting on the futon to further his efforts of staying awake. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't face his nightmares. He couldn't see those terrible memories again. Sadly though, sleep wasn't on his side and he fell into a quiet and surprisingly peaceful slumber.


	5. 4: Horror and Confusion

_ It was too bright. The sky was such a distant blue with soft clouds covering it and the sun shined up high. It was too bright here where his surroundings were hedges of garden, the grass covered with many flowers, and the air smelled of tranquility if one counted fresh and ocean air as tranquil. He stood up, rubbing the back of his head as he tried to understand what the hell he was dreaming._

_ This wasn't the dream he was so used to, quite the contrary. When he was approached by all twelve holders, he was filled with panic and fear. Were they angry with him? Were they going to kill him? Would he be judged for acting on such _selfish _actions? Or were they even considered selfish by these twelve other people who looked at him incomprehensibly. His heart couldn't stop racing and he had a lump caught in his throat. He lost his natural composure and personality long ago. _

_ Twelfth was the first to step up from their perfect circle. He grinned at Akise, it wasn't his Cheshire grin. It was more of a friendly and laid-back grin to wear when he was explaining who he was. He wasn't wearing his dark clothes or his spandex outfit with his mask. He only wore pants with a button up and shoes._

"_You taught me that Justice isn't about winning or losing. You taught me that Justice is in fact about being fair and considerate of those who are to be affected by it. I, now, understand the concept of Justice and have decided… I will work as a normal man of Justice does. You've granted me just that privilege and for that, I am grateful." He shook Akise's hand. Akise shook his hand back._

_ When they let go, Twelfth was back in the line and Eleventh stepped up._

"_As a mayor, I was too much of a perfectionist and too wary of my citizens. Looking back to how far we've come together, it's made me realize my wrongs and my cruelty as a mayor. Because of you, I've been granted the freedom to live a life where I don't have to worry so much about others than myself and of course… my love." He turned, staring at Eighth with adoration. _

_ She let out an ageless laugh and smiled, a blush coloring her cheeks as she slowly stepped up beside him._

"_We can be together without the games keeping us apart." She held Eleventh's hand, both staring up at Akise gratefully. "I may not be able to carry children, but I'm happy running the Orphanage as long as we always have each other. You made it possible for us to be together, I wish for you to find your happy ending, too!"_

_ They stepped back into the line, hands still connected as Tenth stood up._

"_I haven't been the greatest of father to Hinata. I know now, where I went wrong and I've decided I'm ready to be a better father." He sighed. "You're a good friend to her. Please don't leave her life so quickly. She needs all of her friends." He stepped back._

_ Twelfth, Eleventh, Eighth, and Tenth vanished within thin air as Ninth was next to stand up and give her thankful speech. Akise felt conflicted about this. But what didn't make him feel so conflicted? He needed to let go of these memories and those worlds, but it was so hard to. He couldn't. It wasn't that easy._

"_You gave me back something I could never have back, even as a God or terrorist." She looked up solemnly from the ground and faced Akise. There was gratefulness in her eyes that she hid with her stern expression. "…My parents. It's because of you that they're in my life again and I can be happy, trusting that there are such things as miracles. Now I can raise my own family." She smiled sweetly, the sternness left her expression and she was wholly grateful. "Thank you so much. I may not remember who you are and what we've been through together, but this means so much to me…." And for once, she cried of joy as she vanished._

_ Akise looked up at the Sevenths with Fifth, their adopted son, between them. _

"_I'm happy living forever as humans with Ai and my son, Rei-chan." began Marco, "He may be adopted, but that's no excuse. I'll always see my blood in him and I'll always believe he's _my _kid, not anyone else's."_

_ Reisuke smiled widely, staring up at Akise with his big green eyes._

"_I want oni-chan to be in my life again."_

"_Please come back into his life," supported Ai. "We encouraged his life many steps upwards, but he'll always need his older brother as much as he needs his parents. I may or may not remember who you are, but I'll accept a child I see suffering and give my love wholeheartedly to them because that's what Kamado-san taught me."_

"…_.." Akise's eyes watered and they vanished before his eyes, his hand outstretched to hold Reisuke's. Akise blinked the tears back as he faced Sixth. She was smiling widely, her hair held up both sides by identical bows and she wore her traditional kimono. She stepped up to him, grabbing his hands and holding them in hers._

"_The worlds are a distant memory now." She said softly, meeting his eyes. "Someday, you'll feel good for everything you've ever done. That day may not be close, but your suffering has ended. Don't leave our lives…. Don't leave me." She vanished into the windy evergreen leaves._

_ Fourth stepped up, he immediately sank to his knees and stared up at Akise respectfully._

"_My son is healthy, my wife is happy, and my life is stable… I don't have to worry about them or my life anymore. I want to have a chance to talk to you. To thank you. I have never felt so grateful in these worlds, and I… I can be proud of it," He stood up, "all because no one had to die." _

_ Third sneered. He stared at Akise reproachfully._

"…_I'm not happy." He grumbled, dismayed until Fourth leered at him. "….Thanks for giving me a break and not making me deal with the agony of knowing my students don't study." The two vanished._

_ Akise's heart clenched when he realized the only holders left. He stared at them, wide-eyed. Gasai walked up, her expression empty of any emotion or life. Yukiteru stood beside her, his expression just as empty as hers. Then, the tears fell. They spilled all over the once beautiful grounds that suddenly flowed with blood and wilting flowers. Akise's throat closed up as he sank to his knees, slipping on the blood and catching himself with the palm that wasn't clutching his hurting heart._

_ Gasai grinned as she turned her head eerily to the side, staring at him intensely. When she was quiet, grinning like that, or even staring blankly, he knew he was crossing a line she didn't want him passing. He shut his eyes tightly._

"_Get it over with."_

_ She swung her axe until Yukiteru caught the hilt. She gasped in horror. Akise's eyes snapped open. Blood splattered all over Yukiteru's clothes as he swung the axe deep into her stomach. Akise crawled back, stunned and horrified at Yukiteru killing the girl he loved so much and who protected him throughout so many worlds, and at the same time, used him. He looked up, slowly, from his work to stare at Akise defiantly. _

"…_." He mouthed something, outstretching his hand towards him._

Akise jumped himself awake. He blinked rapidly. He remembered that he had fallen asleep after drinking Murmur's tea, it was somewhere in the beginning of an afternoon, and then his vision was all black…. He sat himself up on his futon, quietly wondering how long he had been asleep. His room was lit to a faint dandelion shade from the hall outside his room, which had more windows and access to sunlight.

He raised his eyebrow, faintly rubbing his eyes to realize they weren't itchy. Murmur grinned when she perked up next to his futon, having been sitting there the whole time. He turned, barely noticing her.

"It's about time you woke up." She said. "I was worried about when you would ever go back to school."

"….Murmur,"

"Yes, Akise Aru?"

"How long have I been asleep?"


	6. 5: Restoration

When Akise walked with Yukiteru to school in the morning, he's never felt so refreshed. With an apology through texting and conveniently installed communication services, Akise had managed to ask Yukiteru to meet him before school so that they could walk together there. Yukiteru hinted that he wanted to be around Akise more and it was the least Akise could do after sprinting off last time they spoke.

If he tolerated Yukiteru and Gasai's love-like exchanges through eleven revised worlds, he could tolerate it again, couldn't he? He was brought out of his faze by Yukiteru who, grinning cheekily, was nudging him lightly in the stomach and Akise couldn't resist his beloved.

"Psst," hissed Yukiteru.

"Hmm?" mumbled Akise.

"Where have you been lately?" whispered Yukiteru.

"Like I told you last time, I just had so much stuff to take care of." Akise gave him a small smile, whispering back.

"I'm sorry. I felt bad." frowned Yukiteru, sighing. "It felt like you left because—never mind."

"No, what is it, Yukiteru—" began Akise.

"Hey Amano!" Kosaka threw his arm over Yukiteru's shoulder and pressed close, grinning cheekily as Yukiteru did, but not even as close to attractive and effective as Yukiteru's grin.

"Kosaka!" Yukiteru grinned back, head-butting Kosaka's noggin lightly. Akise watched this exchange out of curiosity. The two started at each other like wrestling deer, pretending their foreheads were antlers. He laughed quietly at them, walking ahead with a smirk despite himself.

They suddenly noticed and shouted at him, running after him. Today wouldn't be such a bad day Akise hoped, wishing his nerves could calm down, but it helped even more when Yukiteru wrapped his hand around Akise's arm and pulled him far ahead from Kosaka in a race to class.

-5-

Akise sat at his and Yukiteru's attached desk, trying to listen to his Biology teacher as much as he could. The problem was he was too distracted. It wasn't Yukiteru, who sat next to him taking notes that distracted him. Akise stared out the classroom window neighboring their desk, into the courtyard where the sky was blue with a hidden sun. He was distracted this much because of his conversation with Murmur two days ago when he asked her questions.

"_How long have I been asleep?"_

_ The question seemed to echo off the walls and fade into nothingness as he sat up on his futon, staring incomprehensibly at Murmur. His heart was racing again. He was worried. _

_He was worried because of Amano Yukiteru. He hasn't seen or heard from him since he ran off rudely that day and he still feels guilty for it. Akise couldn't help dwelling on his worries of whether he was okay or not and he couldn't check on him now since he had no communication services. What worried Akise the most was how long he slept. He needed to know. If he didn't, he was afraid he'd lose control like he did at that convenient store. _

_ Akise waited patiently for Murmur's answer, despite his hidden anxiety. Whatever tea Murmur had given him did help him sleep and it helped his conflictions and emotional disarrays. He was so much more calmed now, but the need to hear the answer was growing over that calm. _

_In fact, he had a lot of questions to ask Murmur. Akise bit back a frown, it was unlikely she would answer them. She was the type of person that enjoyed playing mind-tricks and asking questions to whoever she wants running in circles of their own confusion. Akise, was no exception, he got used to it by the fourth world and was evasive to her._

_ She was a little different or was Akise imagining things? He noticed that she was admitting her emotions and thoughts more frequently. She wasn't one to speak her mind to whoever would listen. She enjoyed mind-tricks too much for that. Could it be that Murmur had… _

_His train of thought was interrupted by Murmur's late answer._

"_A month." She replied, "You missed a lot, so I had the school send me the assignments you were missing out on—"_

"_I had a strange dream."_

"_What do you mean? Was it another massacre?"_

"_No," Akise looked at his futon sheets absentmindedly. "All of the holders were in it. Most of them thanked me for the changes I made in their lives and asked me to stay present. Gasai-san and Yukiteru-kun…"_

"_What about them?" asked Murmur, alarmed._

"_Gasai-san was there to kill me, but Yukiteru-kun… He didn't watch and cry after, he stopped her and he killed her—"_

"_I want you to stay out of their relationship." snapped Murmur abruptly._

"…" _Hadn't Murmur been on his side when he was feeling sick that day? Why did she suddenly feel like switching sides? Was it because Gasai had a harder life than he did? Was it because he isn't real and Gasai is? Akise only stared at her blankly. "I'm not promising anything."_

"_Yukiteru is happy without you getting in the way of his relationship with Gasai Yuno! They're fine together."_

"…" _Murmur might as well have physically slapped him, because that's what being told such things felt like. Reminding him that Yukiteru could be comfortable with Gasai, a girl that could give him more than Akise probably can. Akise's expression went absolutely hollow as it went obscured by his disheveled hair. _

"_I'm very angry at you for what you did! You were being _beyond selfish_, Akise Aru!"_

_ Akise's insides wrenched and twisted into painful knots. He didn't understand. He couldn't stop thinking that Murmur was on his side, that it was okay, that his actions were justified. Did she save the punishment and dreadful warning after he woke up? _

_ Even so, he didn't want to give up. He wouldn't let Murmur hurt him. He wouldn't let anyone get between him and Yukiteru ever again. He would not back down and he refused to break. He would be stronger this time. He repeated these thoughts in his head for every world, he may have failed each recreation but this was the last._

He wouldn't fail.

_His lips upturned into a stretchy grin, reaching ear-to-ear._

"_You're only angry because I killed Deus." His voice darkened._

_ Murmur's eyes widened. She couldn't believe his nerve to mention her master and grin about it…. She balled her hands into fists, close to punching him across the face instead of the slap she gave him a month ago in public. Murmur glared daggers at Akise, who was only grinning widely at her distress._

"_You're wrong!"_

"_You were in love with him!" He stated it as though it were the funniest joke._

"…" _Murmur's composure was breaking. She kept glaring. Her heart ached and the tears wanted to fall. She was starting to despise Akise for what he was saying and doing._

"_You think just because you weren't given a chance with Deus, I shouldn't be given the chance to be happy with Yukiteru-kun. You want me to suffer with you."_

"_That's not—"_

"_That's exactly what it is and we both know it."He sneered._

_ Akise stood up, laughing quietly. He looked through his closet, considering what clothes he wanted to wear for the oncoming tomorrow. Murmur stared at where he had been sitting on his futon, frozen to. Her lips quivering as the tears uncontrollably fell down her cheeks._

"_Akise Aru—"_

"_Just go home." He said, "Your _new _home." He corrected sourly. Akise only faced his closet that he was looking through. She inclined her head, staring at his back that faced her. She stayed sitting at the side of his unmade futon. Her eyes were very teary-eyed. _

_The lies he just spoke shouldn't affect her this much, but…. if these lies were as she thought, why is she crying? She never cried. Not for anyone in her light-years of life._

_What's happening to her?_

"_I have to make sure you don't do anything reckless, Akise Aru!" She protested in a trembling voice, trying hard to forget about Deus._

"_I won't." He softened his voice. "Just make sure _you_ don't do anything reckless." There was a long pause from her that left him satisfied. If she was going to hurt him, he was going to fight back. Nothing will _ever_ stop him anymore._

"…_Very well, Akise Aru….." She stood up, walking over to his bedroom door. Murmur stopped and turned her watery gaze to his back, "Check your cellphone…" Was the last thing she said and she finally left his house._

_ He did._

Akise was snapped out of his stupor by Yukiteru lightly nudging his stomach again. Akise's insides warmed up, it was simple contact and it was any contact with Yukiteru that was enough to send his body into a heartwarming and longing mess inside.

Yukiteru was grinning cheekily. He stared at Akise from the corner of his eye, pulling his notebook closer to Akise's side of their shared desk. He leaned closer to Akise's side, like he was stretching in his seat.

"You weren't taking notes," whispered Yukiteru, close to Akise's ear, "just copy off mine."

"…." Akise's cheeks colored _lightly_, it was enough to be unnoticed, but they were close enough for Yukiteru to see the blush.

He snickered, that bittersweet music that Akise found himself wanting to hear more of.

"Don't worry, Akise. Your secret is safe with me."

"It's not that—"Akise began embarrassedly. He's never been so bashful in his life. _Damn this handsome Yukiteru!_

"Everyone can be distracted, just at different times." Yukiteru cut across him. "It's normal. Don't be so embarrassed to copy off my notes. I know you're self-sufficiently smart, but we're friends. So it's okay."

"…..Friends," Akise repeated quietly. That's right. Yukiteru and he were just friends, but only _for now._

"Are you okay, Akise?" asked Yukiteru worriedly.

Akise stared at him with a wide smile.

"Thank you for letting me copy off your notes, Yukiteru-kun."Akise jotted down what was written on Yukiteru's pages to his own neglected notebook in that very small dainty writing of his. Yukiteru found himself smiling at Akise's preoccupied state. He thought it was cute.

Yukiteru looked away quickly, pretending to be reading his textbook. He wasn't thinking that just now. Yukiteru _isn't_ homosexual it was just that Akise was his friend, and friends—_don't. _They _don't _find each other cute. He needed to rinse that out of his head if he wanted to keep Akise as his friend.

Yukiteru scanned the room for his girlfriend, out of curiosity. When he saw her writing down her own notes, he sighed in relief. She stared up at him, feeling his stare. She was all the way to the right and front of the room, sharing desks with Wakaba Moe while Yukiteru and Akise were the last left back row closest to the window.

He stared at her back, smiling fondly which she returned, blushing. She went back to her notes after. Yukiteru's eyes shined, slowly glancing down at his textbook.

Unbeknownst to Yukiteru, Akise caught the exchange with Gasai. He looked away from it as his heart began to sting from the excruciating pain.

_Just a while longer….._


	7. 6: The Group

Akise Aru didn't plan to sit with his friends at lunch, except Amano Yukiteru had insisted on it. Akise wanted to stick to his plan and tried to escape. No, he _really _tried to escape but Yukiteru's grip was iron and Akise couldn't struggle against it as he persistently asked for him to let go. Yukiteru ignored his requests, pulling him down the halls of bypassing students who watched with curiosity as the intelligent and peculiar Akise Aru tried getting his hand out from Amano Yukiteru's grip ensnared on his wrist, the fastest runner and second strongest of the track team.

That's when Akise learned when Yukiteru was insistent, he was _really _insistent. No one could change the boy's mind and no one could make him think twice of his actions, no matter how foolish. Not to mention how embarrassing it was that Yukiteru easily whipped and convinced Akise.

Yukiteru pulled him to a lunch table situated in one of the many corners of inside their school cafeteria. It was already occupied by most of their friends; Nonosaka Mao sat next to Hino Hinata on the left, hugging Hinata's side. Kosaka Ouji sat in the middle, looking at the two on the left weirdly. Gasai sat on the right, awaiting her boyfriend's presence beside her with a smile at her three friends.

Gasai's face lit up immediately when she caught sight of her boyfriend, Yukiteru. Her eyes seemed to glow as bright as stars when their eyes met. Yukiteru quickly shoved Akise next to Kosaka and he joined Gasai on the right. He pulled her into a quick peck on the lips. Gasai giggled, hugging him close by his waist.

Hinata looked Akise up and down with a serious expression.

"Welcome to our table!" Mao chirped, already considering Akise one of the group members.

"Thank you, Nonosaka-chan." Akise smiled.

"Please call me Mao!" She said.

Akise grinned.

"Mao-chan~~!"

"I like that!" Mao giggled, blushing lightly.

Hinata, predictably, got furious with jealousy that was as plain as day. She glared at Akise.

"Hino Hinata."

"Hina-chan~~!"

"….." Hinata refused to blush. She crossed her arms and mumbled, "real cute."

"You don't give those kind of names to guys, do you?" asked Kosaka, raising his eyebrow.

"Oh no," chuckled Akise, "unless you wanted one?" He smirked playfully as he faced Kosaka.

"Don't—"

"Ko-kun~~!"

"….."

Everyone but Kosaka started laughing. Gasai had her face in Yukiteru's shoulder, muffling her giggles there. Mao giggled too, bringing out her camera and snapping pictures of the displeased Kosaka and the smirking Akise. Hinata pointed at Kosaka's annoyed face, laughing like a wild hyena.

From his peripheral vision, Akise could see them. Yukiteru lifting her chin up to pull her closer into another kiss. He hated to admit it, but they looked _so _perfect. They kissed the way two lovers would, thinking they were the only two in the whole wide world and as long as they were embraced, nothing else mattered.

Gasai is the luckiest girl in the world.

However, Akise wouldn't give up. He couldn't let himself lose to this negativity and depression that was given to him by the worlds and the constant threats Gasai would tell him before she plotted his death. He didn't know what this world would be like, but this time, he was sure. He _had _to be sure.

This was the last recreation of a world he can make possible anyway. Destroying time and space and killing Deus had been a challenge, but if he gave up pursuing Yukiteru, he would have done it for no purpose. He would do everything and anything for Yukiteru. He didn't care how long it would take, but he would somehow make Yukiteru fall for him.

As soon as those thoughts flooded Akise's head, he was the life of conversation at the table, surprising the other five occupants.

Akise came to understand the group better. Hino Hinata takes the leading figure of the group, often making the arrangements and plans through her father's connections in her ideas of fun. There was never a day where the group had time apart on weekends and long-term breaks, because Hinata always managed to plan what to do on all of those days without boring them.

Hinata's lives in a quiet and suburban-like neighborhood for the middleclass. Her father decided to make his shelter much more attractive by adding tournaments and contests that sometimes came with prizes. Even without prizes, Hinata described it to be a worthwhile experience. Her father's obsession with dogs wasn't as abnormal in the previous worlds. He pays attention to his family more than his dogs, only when he wasn't working though.

Hinata's mother, Tsukishima Yoko, didn't die or leave the family. She stayed around. Coincidentally, if she isn't at home with her family, she's working at the same game corporation as Yukiteru's mother, Amano Rea. It was another way for Yukiteru and Hinata to become friends if they didn't meet on campus. This brought them closer as Akise wanted and he did it because he loved good coincidences here and again.

Another coincidence Akise made was having Mao buy his old house. Her parents were respectful and busy workers of the marketing department. She said that they had no real hobby and her dream to become a photographer was developed from visiting the zoo at an early age. Considering Mao's kindhearted and gentle nature, Akise saw her as the counselor of the group; she gives the advice and comfort when needed, specifically to Hinata when she's feeling unconfident.

Kosaka's life hadn't changed. His father, being a famous sports figure in various positions, has a busy schedule. He hardly had time to be around. Kosaka doesn't seem to mind it too much. Having the house to himself, as Kosaka explained, makes him feel powerful and in charge. If his mother was home, who's a pianist, that feeling of power is drained as fast as wind sweep.

Whenever she was home, Kosaka complained, she would treat him like a baby. He was spoiled and didn't seem to mind admitting it with slight narcissism dripping in his voice. Kosaka takes the role of settler in the group; if nobody liked the way they ran things, he "took care of it".

Gasai cheerily explained her life to Akise, the newcomer. Her home hadn't changed but her father being a well-known bank accountant, used some money to run a successful hotel open to tourists, and all the while managing to spend some time at home with his wife and adopted daughter (just what Akise wanted). When her father wasn't home, her mother would be teaching Gasai how to be a good housewife and strong woman, which Gasai gracefully expresses in packing Yukiteru the lunches she made, wiping his face when it was messy, laughing at his jokes and faces, watching his back, supporting him even if what he's doing seems wrong, and trusting him wholeheartedly. There was more to it, but Akise rather not. He _really _rather not…

Because of Gasai's reputation and adorable appearance, she is the "mascot" of the group. If Hinata wanted to get her father's events out there or planned a spontaneous fundraiser that the school could (Kosaka would make it _should_) partake in, Gasai is her person to ask.

Yukiteru? He's the heart and soul of the group. His parents are together and his father has taken responsibility for how he uses his money. His parents are rarely home. He spends most of that time with Gasai when they're not around. Without Yukiteru, the group had no direction and no love for each other. He was each one of them all in one body. As much as the thought was puzzling, Akise made the interpretation himself.

To Akise, it made Yukiteru absolutely cuter.

"I don't see the big deal about Kasugano." Hinata rolled her eyes.

"Kasugano-sama!" said Mao and Kosaka simultaneously, as if she was a Goddess they worshipped. Hinata gave them a weird and very uncomfortable look. Mao had her hands clapped together in a praying manner and Kosaka was bowing in his seat.

"You two _are _weird!"

"Well, Hinata," smirked Gasai, "it could be because…"

Hinata raised her eyebrow as she looked over at her pink-haired friend, who fed Yukiteru the sandwich she had packed for him. Yukiteru made "nom"ing sounds as he took small bites from the sandwich, getting the tomato juice in mix of the crumbs all over the corner of his lips and chin.

"She's hot." Gasai replied simply. She cleaned off the crumbs on the corner of Yukiteru's mouth. Yukiteru grinned like a baby having his own mom clean up his mess without punishment.

"Kasugano-sama!" The other two chanted.

"Careful, Yuki~~! Yuki~~ nearly bit Yuno's fingers off," she teased when she fed him the last of his sandwich, kissing his cheek. Yukiteru grinned proudly in response. Hinata averted her attention from the lovebirds to her crazed pair of Kasugano-worshipping friends.

"Cut it out, you two!" commanded Hinata, getting uncomfortable.

Suddenly, Yuno turned her attention to Akise with a mischievous smile on her face that even unnerved the cobalt-eyed boy next to her. Akise only tilted his head, sending the pink-haired girl a curious smirk.

"Hey, Akise Aru! Do you have a girlfriend?"

Yukiteru felt anger overcome his mood subconsciously at that question. He didn't like where Yuno was taking this. Being her boyfriend, Yukiteru knew exactly where Yuno was going and he didn't like her idea at all! He panicked in his head, trying to calm the continuous pounding in his head that stopped him from coming up with any idea to hold Yuno back from what else she was going to say.

"Why?" Akise chuckled softly, bemused at such a straightforward question.

"Kasugano-sama!"

"I was only wondering because," Yuno paused dramatically, holding her mischievous and unnerving smile.

Akise patiently waited. He was completely calm! Why can he be so calm with that smile on Yuno's face?! Or did he honestly not see where this was going? Yukiteru was panicking! He couldn't think straight because of this annoying pounding that started to hurt his head.

Hinata's loud cries of "quit it" and "stop it, weirdoes", wasn't helping Yukiteru either. It sure as hell wasn't stopping Yuno, she blocked everything else out so easily! Yukiteru was trying to pull Yuno away by her shoulders, sending Akise a strained smile that he didn't catch.

"Hmm?"

"Kasugano-sama!"

"Will you guys snap out of it?!"

"Yuno!"

"Kasugano-sama!"

"Yuno!"

"Guys—"

"You could be Kasugano's date for the Fall Dance!"

That was enough for everything and everyone to quiet down into a frozen silence.


	8. 7: And there comes Trouble

What a disaster last lunch had been. No, the cafeteria hadn't ended in a horrific food fight. Though, that would be as bad as it was. However, that wasn't the case. It was so easily relived in Kosaka Ouji's mind, currently walking down the empty halls of his villa.

"_You could be Kasugano's date for the Fall Dance!" Gasai Yuno had said in that tune of a girlish voice._

_ Everyone went dead silent for a moment. From that moment on, the rest of the cafeteria wasn't there. It was only the group and their table in the farthest corners of the cafeteria that were abandoned. The whole table had fallen silent. _

_ That was enough to stop Kosaka from his bowing. He found himself frozen mid-bow with wide open eyes. Next to him, Hino Hinata's mouth was agape. She looked troubled. He couldn't see anyone else._

_ The silence was broken by the sound of someone getting up from their table. Kosaka hastily raised his head in time to see that it was Amano Yukiteru. The black-haired boy's eyes were narrowed and his teeth loudly gritting as he stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving the group confused in his wake._

_ Kosaka turned to stare between Akise and Yuno. Akise was blinking, his lips formed into a concerned o-shape. Yuno was frowning, watching her boyfriend slam the cafeteria doors open. To be honest, Kosaka was as upset as Yukiteru right now but for different reasons why._

_ Unlike that guy, he knew how to hold in his freaking emotions. He crossed his arms, rolling his eyes._

"_What's that dude's deal?" muttered Kosaka, shaking his head in disproval._

"…_." Gasai frowned more. "I don't know. I hope my sugar bear is okay."_

_ Akise perked up for her, smiling._

"_I'll think about what you suggested, Gasai-san! Would you like to exchange numbers?"_

"_Sure!" She lit up, smiling sweetly at Akise._

_ Kosaka stared at them in disbelief. He hadn't expected Akise to shake this off. He hadn't expected Yuno to lighten up after him either. It took a lot of them to cheer up when it came to Yukiteru. At least, Kosaka could tell by how they both looked at the black-haired boy as he stormed out._

"_I wonder if he's okay…" mumbled Hinata._

"…_Kasugano-sama!" resumed Mao in her prayer mode._

"_Quit it, Mao!" Hinata growled. "If you don't stop it this minute, I'm not telling you my secret!"_

"_Secret!" Mao's eyes sparkled, obediently stopping her frenzy to stare at Hinata admiringly._

_ Kosaka rolled his eyes. Everyone left in this table is weird. Is he the only sane person here? At least for today he was. Hinata could be sane when she wanted to, Mao had always been this weird stalker for Hinata, and Yuno and Akise were just optimistic freaks._

"_I'm going to check on him." said Kosaka._

"_Okay!" Yuno chirped, texting Akise's number into her contacts._

"_Good luck." Akise encouraged, sending Kosaka a playful smirk as the jock stood up from the table. He looked back down at his display, texting Yuno's number into his contacts._

"_Somebody needs to." Hinata pushed Kosaka. "So go!" Mao only nodded as Kosaka rolled his eyes at them._

_Everyone else was going to be lazy about it, huh? Some friends._

_Kosaka ran into the hallway Yukiteru had retreated to. He stopped when he saw something he wished he didn't. Yards away, Kosaka saw Yukiteru saying something to Kasugano Tsubaki that was making her eyes water. He didn't question how he could see so well from all the way over here, but whatever Yukiteru was doing…._

_ Anger was a blinding emotion. His anger quaked when he saw the tears slowly running down Kasugano's cheeks. Never in Kosaka's life has he been this outraged…. What the hell was Yukiteru…._

_ That was the final straw when he heard Kasugano weep. Kosaka was racing right at them. Yukiteru and Kasugano didn't take notice until Kosaka threw himself right at Yukiteru. Kasugano screamed, stepping back._

"_What the fuck, Amano?!" shouted Kosaka, throwing punches at Yukiteru underneath him._

"_Mind your own business!" Yukiteru caught his fist, twisting it harshly._

"_FUCK YOU!"_

Kosaka sat down on the courtyard bench. He stared up at the sky. It was graying blue. Would it rain again?

_It didn't take long for the group to come investigate what took so long and the higher staff. The vice principal arrived and she was very unhappy. She was nearly driven to tears._

_ Hinata looked mortified, hugging Mao who was visibly upset at this. Gasai clapped her hands to her mouth but it was Akise's expression. Akise stared at the two of them blankly, his eyes full of disbelief._

_ He helped them both up, shaking his head at them quietly._

"_Can't you two for once be mature about something?" He had said. _

_He walked away, disappearing into another hall. Yukiteru looked angrier, his lip busted from a punch that Kosaka managed to hit him with his untwisted hand. As if he was going to go after Akise, Yukiteru lunged forward but wound up in Yuno's embrace._

"_AKISE!" shouted Yukiteru._

"_Yuki, honey, talk to me…." She spoke worriedly, hugging him close. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"_

_ He went silent, staring off to the space Akise stood at. Once they finished checking in with their friends, the vice sent them to her office. Yukiteru didn't say anything and Kosaka answered questions honestly. When the vice asked what had gotten into Yukiteru to make him do that, he stormed out again._

_ That time, Kosaka didn't bother to go after him._

-7-

After that lunch, the group fell away for awhile. Yuno didn't like this departure one bit. She couldn't shake this feeling that it was her fault either. Did she upset Yukiteru? Is he upset with her? Could she fix it?

For right now, she needed to somehow muster Yukiteru into apologizing. All of her attempts were failing, but in the lowering corners of her optimistic mind, Yuno saw this as more time spent alone with Yukiteru. That was a bonus, wasn't it?

Since they were lovers, he would be apologizing to her friend Kasugano in no time! Wouldn't he? It's been two weeks already, he wouldn't be holding out forever. He'll get over it someday!

All these thoughts repeated in Yuno's head.

She smiled, opening a cookie box decorated with Sakura flowers and hearts that she packed Yukiteru's lunches in. The two sat in the grasses of Sakurami City Park.

"Open wide!" cooed Yuno, smiling as she fed Yukiteru his sandwich that she unwrapped of the white napkins.

He took small and hardly responsive bites, his gaze downcast. Yukiteru's hair obscured his empty eyes and he wasn't expressing himself as he usually did.

Yuno set the sandwich down on the napkins atop of the cookie box.

"You're not hungry, Yuki…" said Yuno miserably.

He didn't even move.

-7-

Hinata and Mao sat together in her backyard in folding chairs. Hinata looked down at her cellphone. She wanted anyone of her friends to text her.

After what Yukiteru did it seemed like everyone fell away. She didn't want to believe that the group disbanded over something like that. She didn't like Kasugano very much, but that didn't mean she was stoic to what had happened.

She bit her lip, eyes widened with worry.

Mao frowned next to her, hugging her side softly.

"It'll be okay, Hinata."

Mao was unhappy to what had happened. The longer her friends ignored each other, the angrier she got. Couldn't they come out of their shells this once for Hinata? Didn't they know they were breaking her? Don't they miss being like a family?

Mao squeezed her eyes closed, hugging Hinata tighter.

"You'll always have me at your side, Hinata…." said Mao weakly. "Sometime they'll come around. I promise. Who knows, maybe stupid Kosaka is rehearsing his apology in one of those vanity mirrors…!"

"I hope so, Mao…" said Hinata, who didn't even laugh at the narcissistic joke Mao made. Her voice shaky. "…I hope so…."

-7-

Lying on his futon, Akise stared up at the ceiling. He couldn't believe what happened. He didn't know how he was supposed to react. Was he supposed to be relieved or disappointed? At the moment, Akise felt both.

He didn't like how everything escalated when he was _barely _introduced into the table or that Yukiteru would take such drastic action for no reason! He won't buy the possibility that Yukiteru did it out of jealousy because he didn't. That was wishful thinking.

Akise grimaced, rolling onto his side. Yukiteru doesn't know him. He isn't in love with him. Akise's imagining things. He had no reason to be relieved. He shrugged that feeling off.

There. Only disappointment was how he felt.

His amaranth eyes stared into the display of his phone that lay open on his neighboring end table. No messages.

If the group was going to ignore each other for another week, Akise wouldn't be going to school for awhile.


	9. 8: Guilt or Regret?

It had been a bizarre month. Murmur didn't have a job. She was fired from the laundry mat she had been working at, too lost in her thoughts that work was becoming a burden.

Her thoughts were about Akise Aru, the former second holder and her lover, and a little about Deus. She had too much to wonder about. The woman she worked with who lent her that tea recipe even said it. Once someone's thinking is _that _open, it's time to take a break.

Murmur couldn't help it. She knew that Akise's depression and hysteria was caused by her and partly Deus. She took most of the blame, because it wasn't Deus that helped Gasai continue her cycle. Even after Gasai forgot what her goals were, it wasn't about reuniting Gasai with the next world's Yukiteru anymore. It was about watching everyone suffer continuously in different ways.

Sadistic, she used to be. She didn't know if her second world half got the best of her now, but she was warming up and becoming another person. She's never been this serious and empathetic before.

Murmur sighed. They parted ways after that discussion. She has Akise's phone number and used it to check with him once a week. He blocked her out. She couldn't blame him. What she had said to him in his own home, she didn't know if she regretted it or not.

To be back on Akise's good side and grant him a dream come true, Murmur decided to take the offer of being the school's counselor. She didn't meet the principal directly but she was interviewed by the vice, Kamado Ueshita.

At first, Murmur was surprised to meet the former eighth holder but they grew close immediately. Murmur remembered liking eighth so much, except only for her personality. She didn't root for her the way she rooted for second. She rooted second because second was fierce, had no fears and refused to have weaknesses. Eighth was different.

Giving little favor to eighth made Murmur feel more of a human than the demon she naturally is. That was why she took so much pride in watching the others suffer so much. Sadism is in a demon's blood, isn't it?

She wanted Akise to learn his lesson. That he could never have Yukiteru. To affirm it, she let him remember every single world as he died—suffered—and had great losses each recreation. It was cruel but back then she saw it as a favor of setting him straight instead of being outright rejected by the cobalt-eyed boy.

Now? She realized what an affect it had on Akise's psyche. He's as damaged as Gasai Yuno used to be in her abusive household. Gasai is happy now but Akise…. he's still broken beyond repair and it's her fault.

She didn't know how she could ever have Akise's forgiveness. Just thinking about what state he could be in now… The tears fell down her cheeks and she didn't bother stopping them.

-8-

Days after that, Murmur was hired for that position. She still didn't meet the principal in charge to her dismay. To pass time Murmur tidied her office.

The office wallpaper dimmed the room into darkness, being a dark chocolate color with specks of yellow aiding it. The carpeting shaded in pale brown, not enough to lighten the room. To brighten the atmosphere, Murmur would pull the black window curtains apart that showed the roads to exit and enter the school grounds.

There were two bookcases in opposite corners of her office. Most of the books hugging the shelves were about psychology, health care, and recipes to delicious dishes. In the middle of the room lay a set of living room furnishes; a coffee table, an overstuffed chair, and an armchair opposite of it.

The only changes Murmur made was having the desk removed from her office. She saw no point in it if she was only going to be here for evening hours counseling and have to be facing the student she talked to. Kamado hadn't minded either.

"Did _he_ mind?" whispered Murmur, emphasizing the 'he' as the mysterious principal she hasn't met yet.

"Oh no," laughed Kamado. "He had a laugh about it."

"Really?" Murmur furrowed her brow. She didn't think principals knew about sense of humor. She saw principals as men who wore black-rimmed glasses in cheap suits with a stoic and serious personality.

Kamado nodded. The former eighth holder shuffled her paperwork into a neat pile. Murmur watched, intrigued. In Akise's dream, he had said that Kamado was still the headmistress of the Mother's Village orphanage. However, if she's vice principal here, then the chances of his dream being legit are slim. He implied that Yukiteru killed the former second holder for him so they could be together—but that itself was too impossible to happen.

That boy was too much of a wimp. It's the truth, Murmur thought bitterly as she scrunched her face up. His cowardice was disgusting but very interesting to watch. The way he pleaded for his life and cried for redemption.

She shouldn't be thinking like that. She's trying to be kinder here for Akise's sake! Goodness, she's bad at being human. Murmur sighed.

"Is something wrong?" asked Kamado worriedly.

"No, I'm only thinking—hey, do you mind if I ask a few questions?"

"Of course not." Kamado smiled, sitting down on her office chair and giving Murmur her full attention.

Murmur sat opposite of her on the student loveseat.

"Well, are you happy?"

"I'm very happy." laughed Kamado.

"Why?" asked Murmur simply.

"I have plenty reasons! Are you sure you want to listen to all of them?" Kamado flushed.

"I do now!" Murmur teased.

Murmur discovered that John Balks married her and her preferred name is Balks Ueshita but she chooses to use Kamado for her adopted child's sake. She explained that if the principal knew she's related to any of the students here, it would make their partnership difficult. The principal saw family ties as ways to cheat the school system.

Her adopted child's name is Balks Taro. He's a fourteen year old eighth grader. Murmur remembered him as one of the orphans most attached and defensive of Kamado. He died protecting her in a few worlds. Now, he got what he wanted.

A happy family with the mother figure he's very devoted to. Murmur smiled as Kamado went on, listening. As this conversation went deeper and deeper into Kamado's life, Murmur realized just how…

…much she envied the former eighth holder…


	10. 9: The Curious Case of Kosaka Ouji

-The Curious Case of Kosaka Ouji-

Monday / September 25th, 2006 / 12:10 PM

When the jock entered the counselor's office, he hadn't expected it to be _so _fancy in there… He remembered walking in here for beating up an annoying kid back in sixth grade. The wallpaper used to be tarnished and colorless the last time he was in here. Now it was well… _dark_ and _colored. _To simple-minded people like he is, this office looks like something from an old-fashioned college or something.

He looked around with wary brown eyes.

"What the…"

"Take a seat!" ordered a medium-tanned and very short woman who sat on an armchair in front of a coffee table. The coffee table had colorfully wrapped confectionaries piling in an ornate bowl with a tea set tray adjacent. The light lavender haired woman had her hair up in a tight bun with her violet eyes shining in excitement.

The last counselor they had wasn't _this_ thrilled to talk to middle school students. Uneasy, Kosaka sat down on the overstuffed chair opposite of her. When Kosaka learned that today would be an all-school-hours interview of all eighth graders, Kosaka was disappointed.

He didn't care for any of his subjects except P.E. Though, that was expected from an athletic person like Kosaka. His unease and unpleasantness was reflected on his expression or else the counselor wouldn't be so kind to offer him some candy.

"No thanks." He mumbled.

"My name is Murmur," She outstretched her hand with a smile.

Kosaka raised his brow. That was a short name. He shook her hand nonetheless.

"Kosaka Ouji."

"Nice name." She complimented, "Are you popular with the ladies?"

"What the hell are you asking?!" He glared.

"Have you dated?" asked Murmur, grinning.

"Yes." muttered Kosaka, uncomfortable.

"Do you kiss your reflection?"

"What the fuck are you implying?!"

"Shhh, lower your voice." whispered Murmur, "If you don't, vice is going to have to come in here and sit with us."

"Who asks shit like this?" asked Kosaka quietly, annoyed.

"Fine then! Buzz kill." She rolled her eyes and sighed softly. "We'll skip to the serious business."

"About time." glared Kosaka. "If you're going to ask me the same shit Vice Kamado asked, I'm going to need some of that candy…"

"Take whatever you want." snickered Murmur.

Kosaka did. He stuffed all of the peppermints and chocolate mints into his mouth. He didn't savor. He chewed and swallowed them down with the flavorless tea, all displayed on the coffee table.

"Okay, what do you want to know?" He asked, grabbing most of the chocolate bars.

"What were you doing before you saw Yukiteru?" asked Murmur, her expression laid-back.

"I was going to check on him." He muttered, biting into chocolate bars that he quickly unwrapped.

"Why? What happened?"

"His girlfriend was playing around. Well, I couldn't tell if she was serious or not—" He began with his mouth full of chocolate.

"Serious about what?" asked Murmur with a quiet laugh.

"—She wanted to playdate Akise and Kasugano." said Kosaka, swallowing what was in his mouth. "Yukiteru got pissed about it. I don't know why. He just walked out and it worried all of us. Like what the hell's your problem, dude?"

"Then you went to check on him. What was he doing?"

This was where Kosaka hastily grabbed more chocolate bars and candy mints, angrily stuffing them into his mouth.

"He was upsetting Kasugano. I couldn't hear what he was saying," he explained with his mouth full. "but whatever the hell it was, it made her cry. I got pissed off myself and I just… I started yelling at him, trying to kick his ass."

"Why do that?" Murmur raised her eyebrow.

"_I don't know_!" snapped Kosaka, having finished what was in his mouth. "I just—Fuck it. I wanted to pass it by. Just move the fuck on but of course not. We have to dig back into the past…"

"Calm down, will you?" Murmur rolled her eyes. "We're only having you relive this because we need answers."

"If you want fucking answers, ask _Amano_!" shouted Kosaka, standing up. "And stop wasting my time…"

Kosaka stomped out of the office, leaving nothing behind but the countless wraps of different candies he undid on the coffee table. Murmur sighed. Counseling with these preteens would be harder than she thought.

Time to review those psychology books…

-9-

Monday / September 25th, 2006 / 12:55 PM

Akise rode his bike around the city park. It was one of his ways of relaxation. His friends ignoring each other and the too-little-too-much pieces of homework were all stressful. Akise couldn't attend school with all of this stress building up in his chest. If he did, he would snap and…

It's a nightmare when he snaps. That time at the convenient store wasn't even close to how bad he can be. Akise turned his bike hastily, riding towards another route. He will stick to skipping school for awhile, for the sake of his sanity and everyone's lives.

Still if he had to relive another world of chaos and misery, he would have to consider whether to give up or not. He didn't know, with these traumatic memories of the previous worlds, how he would be able to take it. Losing his friends again and watching his beloved's sanity collapse again. He didn't want any of that but if he stayed away from it…

He stopped his bike in front of a hospital, locking it there. Akise didn't need to think of that. Since it wasn't happening he could spare those thoughts for later, when they are needed. He heaved a deep sigh, trying to be at ease.

He grabbed a gift bag from the frontal basket of his bike, smiling slightly. Akise had family issues at the moment and it would help to resolve them every once in awhile. He planned to do that for these weeks of skipping school. Akise walked into the hospital, greeted by the vibrant and all-too-bright walls and floors of exaggerated white.

In his peripheral vision, he saw different shops where gifts could be bought from the left. On his right, he noticed a middle-aged woman talking to her wheel chaired daughter in the waiting area of armchairs and couches. As he passed them by, he heard a bit of their conversation.

"Mommy… the doctors say I'll never walk again. Are they right?" The girl frowned, looking up at her mother.

"No, you'll walk again, honey… I'm sure." said her mother shakily, holding her daughter's hands in hers.

People-watching, it left the observer with different emotions and speculations. Akise couldn't help but feel for those two. He should have saved the rest of the world from misery, too. His biggest regret is not being fast to save all the breaking souls in the rest of the world.

"How can I help you for today?" asked the kind receptionist behind the help desk, smiling politely.

"If it's no trouble, I would like you to search for someone under the surname, 'Akise'. I am here visiting a relative of mine." said Akise, "I want to make sure I'm in the right room."

"Of course." She smiled, typing in her computer.

Akise waited. Feelings of anxiety and excitement coursing in his body as he stood there behind the counter, attempting to peer over and see what the receptionist's results were. She playfully chided him back in front of the counter and resumed to checking results of Akise's request.

"We are hospitalizing one Akise. He is on the third floor, room 303." said the receptionist, her lips straight. "Was that helpful?"

"Very!" said Akise as he sprinted for the nearest elevator, "Have a nice day, miss!"

"Oh..." the receptionist taken aback, blinked."The poor boy..." She whispered quietly, her lips trembling in uncertainty as she watched Akise disappear into a hall, where two elevators were.

_Tossed by the wind, I swirl and sway with the waves of light._

When the elevator doors of the left parted without anyone inside, Akise stepped into it. He pressed the fourth button on the six selections of low and high floors. The doors closed. Akise smiled hopefully, holding the gift bag full of colorful tissues.

_As I walk, my heart opens in a way it shouldn't go…_

Akise ran out of the elevator. He couldn't believe he would have another chance. He turned to the left hallway, clutching the bag tightly. When he saw the 303 room, he didn't waste any time.

_Embracing, as not to break it. Now time has stopped._

He flung the door open with a wide smile on his face.

_Even if we cannot return, we two will remember._

The bag fell from his hand. His eyes wide as he stood there, trying his hardest not to shake.

_These feelings that I cannot cry, where do I shout them to?! Where does all of this sadness come from?! Please tell me…_

_Through this blurred darkness…_


	11. 10: Departure

Tuesday / September 26th, 2006 / 7:39 AM

Luminescent sunlight streamed through the curtain draping the window next to his bed. Yukiteru squinted his eyes from the brightness and sat up. If it's another morning, then it's another irrelevant nine hours of school.

When he showered and dressed into a fresh pair of clothes, Yukiteru left his house. He made his way for school. He didn't rush or text anyone. Today would be another day where he walked alone. Without Akise and Kosaka, he had no reason to be in such hurry.

They weren't waiting for him.

That luminescent sun hid in clouds of gray that patterned the dark sky. Wind started blowing heavily, time seemed so much slower and the weather seemed so much colder now.

In mornings where he waited for his two friends, the birds would chirp and the sun always rose to its highest. He would be hasty to dress and run to meet them with breakfast still being chewed in his mouth. Those were the days where Yukiteru was the titanium of the world.

In mornings where he walked alone, there were no birds chirping and the sun mocked him. It streamed its brightest rays through the fabric of his curtain to force him up and then it hid behind the dark clouds once he was outside his house. His movements were slow and languid, no longer rushing or eating any breakfast. These are days where Yukiteru felt sour.

He didn't have his friends, but he has Yuno. She couldn't walk with him because she lived in another district of Sakurami, farther away from his. Despite how far apart they are, in the days where school felt relevant and their friends were there, they would visit each other's houses.

That didn't happen anymore.

Yuno spent a lot of time with Yukiteru. She tried her hardest to make him smile and laugh again. She took him on dates. She complimented him. She did what she could.

It was proven ineffective.

With Yuno by his side, he didn't feel as strong as he did with their friends around. He didn't tell her that. If he did, Yuno would start to cry and blame herself all over again. Yukiteru wouldn't have that.

All he could do while he's like this is push her away. He needed to save her from him. He's going to snap under this pressure and guilt.

He's going to make sure that she won't be the one to be around and take the critical damage of his pent-up anger. He's going to protect her from the shadows and be the greatest boyfriend he can be once he fixes what he's broken.

Yukiteru opened his cellphone, looking down at the display.

No messages.

He's sparing Yuno's hurt by doing this. He would reassure her that once he's himself again. Yukiteru bit down _hard _on his lower lip as he stopped in his tracks to text Yuno's number.

**To Yuno: 7:55 PM / Good morning, Yuno. I'm really sorry for how I've been treating you. I know this is going to sound unfair, but I can't be around you anymore. I'm a jerk, Yuno. I don't deserve you. I'm only spacing away because I love you. You got that? I love you, Yuno. You're going to be okay without me. I promise.**

**XOXOXO**

**Yuki**

He turned away, walking back towards his house. He had important things to do and the irrelevance of school wasn't part of it. He started running back down the blocks and shortcuts he took to walk to school faster.

He wouldn't attend school, not with so many eyes on his back as he walked to his different classes and not with so many teachers whispering about him behind his back. He couldn't take the responsibility of his actions. He needed to be alone for now. All of this anger compressing his chest hurt as it suffocated him. All of this is too much to bear and he understood he was a coward for running away from a problem _he _started.

But still, that didn't change the fact that all of this is… _bullshit._

-10-

Tuesday / September 26th, 2006 / 8:25 AM

Kilometers away, Yuno walked and talked with two of her friends. Miyashiro Orin, a thirteen year old girl who's class representative for seventh grade. She wore a button-up over her tank top and waist high shorts with slip on shoes. She didn't do much for her brown hair. She explained that she would brush it in the mornings and simply tie it up.

This morning she had her hair down with two low braids at the front. Yuno would chide her for her dull-thinking in being beautiful and would say that someday she would have to teach her to be better prepared. Wakaba Moe would walk with them and give small laughs to their exchanges. Unlike Miyashiro, Wakaba knew how to be beautiful.

Wakaba styled her brown hair in suave layers and dressed in string blouses, full skirts, and sandals. Since this morning started out coolly (Miyashiro found it to be hot), Wakaba and Yuno both wore overcoats and gloves over their pants and winter sweaters.

"You two must have low blood pressure!" said Miyashiro.

"You're going to freeze!" responded Yuno.

"Nah." She smirked. "I've gone to the mountains in shorts before—"

"You're crazy." Wakaba chimed in, shaking her head. She fixed her glasses against her nose bridge.

"Yeah. One of us has to be the wild of the group. Not all of us can be prissy-pretty." said Miyashiro, turning to Yuno's direction. "Or have cute boyfriends."

Yuno blushed.

"If only you'd let me show you how to be pretty, you'd have a boyfriend by now!"

"How is Amano-kun?" asked Wakaba curiously.

"He's good!" chirped Yuno. "I should text him good morning!" She giggled.

"Look at you, Yuno-chan. So in love." snickered Miyashiro.

"Yup!" Yuno smiled widely, pulling her cellphone out from the breast-pocket of her coat. "You two go on ahead! I'll be awhile!"

"You sure?" Miyashiro raised her eyebrow.

"Mhm! I wouldn't want you two late because of me." She smiled.

"Be safe, Yuno-chan!" said Wakaba.

"I will!"

With that, her friends walked off. Yuno smiled at their backs and resumed to texting Yuki when she saw her Inbox had been updated. Smiling hopefully, Yuno believed it was her one of her other friends, Hinata or Mao.

Her eyes widened as she found out that it wasn't her friends who've been silent to her presence. Her pupils shrunk in their quivering and watering irises of cerise. Yuno's lips trembled. She felt so weak suddenly.

**From Yuki: 7:55 / Good morning, Yuno. I'm really sorry for how I've been treating you. I know this is going to sound unfair, but I can't be around you anymore. I'm a jerk, Yuno. I don't deserve you. I'm only spacing away because I love you. You got that? I love you, Yuno. You're going to be okay without me. I promise.**

**XOXOXO**

**Yuki**

_What?_

For a moment, she stood there wide-eyed and frozen. It couldn't be right. Yuki wasn't leaving her permanently, was he? What's he mean? Is he joking?

All these mental questions were enough to make her sink to her knees, shaking as the cellphone fell from her grip. Tears streamed down her face. She felt colder than the weather.

Yuno weakly grasped the phone she dropped on the ground, rereading the message on the display. She didn't want to believe he sent this. She wanted to believe it was all some cruel nightmare.

"Yuki… you d-dummy…." She hiccupped. "Idiot… idiot…. idiot…. tell me this is a sick joke..."

When the display blackened from inactivity, Yuno realized it wasn't. He sent this text thirty minutes ago. If it was a joke… he would have sent the final line in the fifteenth minute. The tears fell down faster on her cheeks that were paling from their rosy red color.

"YUKI!" Yuno screamed the loudest and most broken blood curdling scream and then fell limp on the ground, unconscious.

-10-

Tuesday / September 26th, 2006 / 10:32 AM

Cerise eyes opened, squinting at the brightness of the florescence above.

"You're awake!" said a voice excitedly.

"Wh-where am I?" croaked Yuno, holding her hand over her forehead to shade her eyes from the ceiling lights.

"In my office." Murmur leaned over the settee Yuno laid on, grinning. "I'm the counselor, Murmur's my name!"

"I'm… at school?" Yuno sat herself up, dizzily palming her eyes.

"Whoa, take your movements _slowly_." said Murmur. "You've barely recovered from your fainting."

"I have to find Yuki!" cried Yuno exasperatedly, jumping up and running towards the door. She tripped over her own feet and collapsed face down. Her body felt jelly-like and useless. She desperately crawled on the carpeting, tearing up. "I have to…. f-find Yuki…"

Murmur sighed, her lips bored a straight line. She dragged Yuno by her hand and helped her onto the overstuffed chair.

"You need tea." said Murmur, pouring the steamy liquid into a short cup from her teapot.

"I need Yuki…. I need Yuki…. I need Yuki…." said Yuno, it sounded like a mantra she had to keep repeating. It was almost as if she believed saying his name a thousand times would make him appear.

Murmur couldn't take this anymore. She set the teapot down, a little too harshly. She looked up and glared her meanest at Yuno.

"Pull yourself together." She said through gritted teeth. "Before I make you."

Yuno didn't even flinch.

"I need Yuki… I need Yuki…. I need Yuki…. Yuki… Yuki…. Yuki… Yuki… Yuki…. Yuki….Yuki—"

SMACK!

Murmur slapped her as hard as she could, glaring. As she was hoping for, Yuno snapped out of it and clutched her reddened cheek.

"I'm so sorry…" She wept. "I don't know what's gotten into me…" She cried into her palms shakily.

"Yuno," sighed Murmur, "have some tea. Please?"

Yuno nodded. She took the short cup with shaky fingers, appearing more delicate than dexterous. She sipped from the rim, her teeth clinking at first from how much she shook.

"Yuno, if you want to help Yukiteru, I need you to let me interview you. If you let me do that," said Murmur. "I can guarantee you that Yukiteru will be saved from where he's gone off to. You need to answer my questions and be honest. What Yukiteru and I need from you first, is you calm. I need you to be calm for him. Can you do that?"

Those psychology books were gold!

"Mhm…" Yuno nodded, sipping the rest of the cup. When she finished, she sat it down on the tray and heaved deep sighs; in and out.

"Good." praised Murmur. "We'll begin when you're ready."

Yuno narrowed her eyes determinedly.

"I am ready to help Yuki!"


	12. 11: The Curious Case of Gasai Yuno

"What happened at that lunch specifically?" asked Murmur, sitting back.

"Well, Kosaka, Hinata, Mao and I all waited for Yuki at our table. We weren't expecting him to bring someone along, but he did. His name is Akise Aru. He sat with us and everyone took a liking to him enough to add him in our group." explained Yuno, "I thought that, 'this boy's pretty cute! He would be a good date for Kasugano', I'm good friends with her. We met each other on P.E and she has a huge crush on Akise."

"When did this crush begin?" Murmur raised her eyebrow.

"Kasugano seemed shy to admit this, but she said it was almost like love at first sight." said Yuno. "I'm guessing somewhere in the entrance ceremony."

"That could be it." agreed Murmur. "So you were serious about setting them up?"

"Kasugano's my friend! I would never play her like that." said Yuno defensively.

"I was only making sure. Kosaka said he couldn't tell if you were serious or not when I interviewed him." said Murmur.

"Kosaka…." Yuno frowned. "Is he mad?"

"Angry fits better." sighed Murmur, "With himself and Yukiteru."

"I see…"

"What else happened?" asked Murmur.

"After I said that, everyone got quiet…." explained Yuno. "Then, Yuki… He walked out." She frowned. "I think you know what went on from there."

"I do." said Murmur honestly.

Yuno stared down at her cellphone. Murmur noticed this and grabbed a candy. She shoved it into her mouth, setting the wrapper on the coffee table.

"How has Yukiteru been acting lately?" asked Murmur.

"….." Yuno flinched.

"Has he…" Murmur hesitated. "Been abusive?"

"N-not physically…." She said quickly. "B-but… he snaps sometimes…."

"Yuno—"

"Let me explain!" She cut across, shaking. "It's not him… it's me…" She sat back on her overstuffed chair, heaving deep sighs again. "I always trigger it… It didn't start right away. It was…"

_Yuno threw her school purse over her shoulder, walking outside of her sewing club classroom. She smiled hopefully. She asked Yuki to wait for her at the gate, that way he could walk her home. _

_She checked her cellphone. He didn't respond to her text message. He must be busy passing time by doing his homework. She giggled to herself. Oh her Yuki, always the cutest._

_She froze when she saw that he wasn't waiting at the school gate. The gate was opened after the eighth hour of school for those uninvolved in clubs to leave if they wished. She looked around. Yuki wasn't anywhere remotely close to the gate._

_She walked around the school, looking for her darling. Could he have gone out with his friends and forgot to tell her? If that was the case… No, she forgave him. He didn't always forget to tell her. She only hoped they weren't somewhere with other girls._

_She scrunched her nose in discomfort at the thought. She wouldn't want any girl having her hands all over Yuki. Yuki wouldn't either, because he had promises to keep._

_It was when she heard heavy panting that her eyes widened in realization. She ran towards the source of the panting and sure enough, she saw Yuki standing in front of the bleachers. _

_Covered in his sweat, shirtless and wearing his P.E shorts. He wiped the sweat off of his face with a nearby towel that he was always sure to bring whenever he had track practice. Yuno kept tabs on his practice schedule and today wasn't one of those days. _

_She frowned. He only ran around the track field this late when something bothered him. Their friends haven't spoken to them for awhile and Akise hadn't come to school in awhile. If Yuki only apologized…. then maybe…_

_He started wiping the nape of his neck with the towel and sighed. Why was he so stubborn? Couldn't he apologize for his wrongdoing? Yuno couldn't understand why he didn't want to apologize. What did Kasugano do that bad?_

_On Yuki's orders, Yuno hesitantly stayed away from Kasugano. She didn't like the way they were treating her. For what reason must they be so cruel to her? What about herself? She only followed Yuki's orders like an obedient underling. Her mother taught her to always support her man, even if it doesn't seem right._

_That's what she stood for. Isn't it?_

_Yuki threw his towel atop of his school pack, he could feel the uncertainty of Yuno's cerise eyes watching his back._

"_What do you want?" He asked sternly._

_This caused the indecisive line on Yuno's face to downturn as a frown._

"_You weren't waiting for me at the gate."_

"_I was busy." He replied._

"_I can see that, but you could at least give me _one _text?" She stepped closer._

"_Next time I will." He slipped his sweat-dried P.E shirt on. He might as well wear something indecent since he smells like dog and is sweating like one. He'll shower and change into fresher attire when he gets home. Originally, his plan was to shower at the lockers but Yuno._

"_Yuki… honey, is something wrong?" She asked as carefully as she could, outstretching her hand to tap his shoulder._

"_Now, why would something be wrong, Yuno?" He evaded her touch to lift his pack and slide it onto his neck and over his left shoulder. When he turned to face her, Yuno never felt so unwanted. His gaze was empty and colder than winter air._

_Her cerise eyes watered in hurt. He didn't even call her honey back. That's how they always addressed each other by nicknames._

"_Come now, darling." She laughed it off. "It's no secret you run around the track this late when you're distressed."_

"_None of your damn business," He snapped. "You don't tell anyone about this. Am I clear?"_

"…_Yes, Yuki." She uttered weakly._

_Even when he wrapped his hand around hers, she could feel the coldness of his touch. She flinched away from it in reaction, but he gripped her hand in his tighter. He paled their tanned contrasts. He held her hand the way he held her splintering heart…_

"That happened a week ago." She mentioned.

"I see…." sighed Murmur. "I need one more thing from you."

_This is for you, Akise._

"What's that?"

"As a favor for Yuki's wellbeing you'll need to let go of him for now."

Yuno's eyes snapped wide open from looking down at her lap, already watering. Her hands shook wildly as she sat there, mouth agape in surprise to what the counselor just said.

"…..._W-what_?"


	13. 12: The Curious Case of Kasugano Tsubaki

A/N: I have a surprise for you, readers.

* * *

As Yukiteru's understanding girlfriend, Gasai Yuno followed Murmur's advice and let him be. She preoccupied herself with homework, her club, and her other friends. She didn't look into her Inbox frequently hoping for Yukiteru to message her like she used to. It was a relief to see her living healthy and carefree.

Murmur helped her become happier. In short, Yuno would be able to move on to someone else and Akise would be closer to his dreams. Speaking of which, where was that silver-haired boy? He hasn't been to school for three weeks. Was he planning to skip for a month like he involuntarily did sleeping late?

Murmur was worried for once.

"Who do you plan to appoint next?" asked Vice Kamado from across the table they sat at.

Murmur snapped out of it. She remembered that she was in the teacher's lounge, eating breakfast and drinking coffee with her colleague, the former eighth holder in the previous worlds. She thought for a moment, taking a sip of her bland coffee. She held back the urge to twitch her nose in disgust and spit out the drink.

"Kasugano Tsubaki. I should see the victim's perspective before the culprit." said Murmur smartly.

"You're making it out like it's a case to solve." Kamado raised her eyebrow, sipping from her own coffee.

"…Uh, yeah." Murmur scratched the back of her head. "I have a friend who reads mystery novels, so… I think he rubbed off on me."

"I see." said Kamado, laughing.

-13-

She often sat by herself in the corner desk of every classroom, her dark blue hair held up by two identical pink bows. She pulled her white cardigan over her sleeveless pink dress, ashamed of herself. That one day, where that boy…

He whispered the meanest things to her. She could do nothing but cry and wonder. Wonder if her crush thought of her that same way. She hid her face in her palms. She didn't want to look ugly in his eyes. She couldn't even look at herself when she dressed for school.

If he did though…. what could she do?

-13-

Friday / September 29th, 2006 / 12:10 PM

"Kasugano Tsubaki, my name is Murmur."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." said the blue-haired girl politely, bowing.

"The pleasure is all mine, Kasugano-san." smiled Murmur. "Take a seat, please?"

"Of course," She sat down on the overstuffed chair, fixing her dress. "How can I help you?"

"I'm aware that you were involved in that incident with Amano Yukiteru and Kosaka Ouji." Murmur bit her lip. "As the victim of Amano's bullying and the witness of the other two fighting."

So much for ignoring it.

Kasugano nodded slowly, her violet eyes downcast.

"I am. Is there something you needed to know?"

"It's only fair for you to be honest if I'm honest with you, so…" Murmur sighed, "The principal had been planning productively after the incident to interview all of you eighth graders. He's convinced more incidents have gone on that he's unaware about, so he's asked me the counselor through Vice Kamado to appoint these interviews. What I do is set the appointments up in different orders. I don't start with the incident we know. I grab one person connected or involved from your incident first and then skip to another student for two days earliest or a week at latest."

"…I see." Kasugano blinked. "The principal, have you seen him?"

"No," snickered Murmur, "Only Vice Kamado's seen his face. I heard he's top secret. You know, like an FBI agent."

"Oh." Kasugano gave a small smile at Murmur's humor.

"So, you have a crush on Akiseee Aru." teased Murmur.

As Murmur predicted, Kasugano blushed. Bright pink dusted her porcelain skin. Kasugano shifted nervously in her seat, looking down at her lap shyly.

"Well... it's not only a crush." She admitted, hesitantly lifting her head up.

"What is it then?" asked Murmur curiously.

"It's… love." She sighed dreamily and closed her eyes. Her blush deepened to red. "When I look at him," she began softly. "I feel many things. I feel safe, I feel beautiful, I feel… loved and cherished. It made me wonder, has he ever felt these feelings? The curiosity of that grew deeper as much as my fondness of him did and then…." She sighed again.

"You fell in love." finished Murmur.

"Yes." She opened her eyes, smiling. "I love him."

Well, wasn't this great.

Murmur grabbed a candy from the bowl, popping it into her mouth. She was having trouble holding in a sarcastic snort.

She grinned at Kasugano.

"Want one?" She asked.

"No, I don't like sweets much." said Kasugano bashfully.

"What girl doesn't like her sweets?!" interrogated Murmur, baffled.

Kasugano giggled at that. She smiled wider.

"I guess I'm different." She began before remembrance struck her face like a blow and she was frowning again.

"Kasugano-san?"

"Who am I trying to convince?" She questioned shakily. "I'm not different…. I'm what that boy said. I'm disgusting, vile, unwanted and…." She trailed off, burying her face in her palms as she started to cry.

Murmur panicked for a second. She didn't expect Kasugano's mood to change so rapidly. She sat there, once again baffled, unknowing what to do.

"I'm so sorry! Excuse me—" Kasugano stood up.

"Please sit down." said Murmur, getting up herself. "We're not close to finished and we need to talk about this."

Kasugano nodded, sitting back down. The tears continued streaming down her cheeks nonetheless. Murmur pulled a tissue out from the coffee table and wiped her tears away for her.

"Tell me what else he said." She hesitated at first, but she needed the whole situation relived to understand their mindsets and what caused Yukiteru to snap like this.

"…He called me a slut…" said Kasugano hoarsely. "Am I a slut?"

Okay so, this Yukiteru wasn't sunshine and rainbows of emotion.

"No," responded Murmur, "You are not a slut. He must have been angry from having an off day and took it out on you with wrong judgment. It happens, Kasugano. I've been called…uh, a midget."

But she is.

Kasugano seemed to agree to that as well. She bit down on her lip. If that was her way of thinking, then she is a slut.

"I'm so disgusting and vile!" she cried.

"No you aren't. Do you think Akise thinks of you that way?" asked Murmur, trying to lighten the mood.

"…..I d-don't know. I'm scared he does…" she admitted.

"I know Akise Aru, Kasugano." said Murmur. "He would _never _think of a woman like that. Regardless of their background or their occupation, he isn't that kind of man so quick to judgment." She explained. "What he does is, he observes someone and studies what he knows. He puts that knowledge into use to figure out what kind of person they are and you know what?"

"W-what?" She faced Murmur sheepishly, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment of crying.

"He loves them." said Murmur truthfully. "That's his problem, Kasugano. He loves too much and it hurts him."

-13-

/ Four Days Ago /

Akise stood at the doorway, eyes widened and trying his hardest not to shake. His amaranth eyes focused on the patient that stood by the window of the room in the customary healing gown. The patient smirked despite Akise's shock.

The patient looking right at him appeared as a spitting image of Akise. Only that this image was bandaged around the forehead with gauze and the entirety of both arms and legs. His smirk widened as he took slow and careful barefoot steps towards Akise.

"Hey little brother."

* * *

A/N: Yes, my surprise is an OC.


	14. 13: Reunions

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I hope the long chapter and surprise OC makes up for it. Enjoy!

* * *

Monday / September 25th, 2006 / 13:03 PM

"Hey little brother."

He spoke as gentle as he could in that deep baritone of his.

From the window that he previously stood at, the room was lit up by the bright sunshine streaming from outside. It gave the boring white some glow to it and it didn't make the atmosphere as strained as it was before his brother came along. His brother that he remembered was in shock.

"Aru—"

"What are you doing?" He asked softly, grabbing the gift bag he dropped and proceeded to set it down on the nightstand neighboring the patient's narrow tight-spaced bed. "You need to be resting…" He helped his twin onto the bed as carefully as possible, pulling the white sheets over the bandaged body much fragile compared to his.

"Hey," His twin protested halfheartedly. "Don't worry about me. That's my job to be worrying about you."

Akise Aoi, the patient that lay on the bed, was the third person after Akise and Murmur to have his memories of the previous world recreations.

As selfish as it sounded, Akise didn't want to be alone in his continuous ventures. He wanted someone by his side. He wanted that someone to be trustworthy and at least a little sympathetic, two things Murmur could never be at that time of great need.

That was Aoi. The reliable and dependent of the two that wanted to live life frivolously by cheating through it. He manipulated those around him to his benefit, uncaring of their feelings. He wouldn't waste a tear on anyone, except his brother.

He found himself taking the role as the older brother. It could be that he took it, naturally, from the simple fact that he was brought earlier into the world five seconds before Akise followed suit. He saw Akise as his responsibility and someone he needed to always protect.

He couldn't imagine life without his twin. That was why, even if Akise would have anyway, he volunteered to keep memory of each inevitable failure of the eleven worlds. He could see it in his brother's eyes. He hasn't slept the same way and hasn't eaten the same way as peacefully as they did in the very first world.

The first world was much different compared to the following ten. The Akise family resided in a private home, gated from society and from the dangers of the rest of the world. It was peaceful that way.

Akihiro would be in his office, attempting to teach Aoi to be a decent businessman. But Aoi wouldn't be listening. He would be drifting off in thoughts of living life luxuriously, without ever having to lay his hands on work. He wouldn't tell his father what he was thinking, or he was sure he would be chastised.

Atsuko would be in the lawn or in the spacious backyard. Either of which, were her beloved gardens that she planted flowers and vegetables of wide variety. Akise would be helping her planting if he wasn't out somewhere in the city solving fake cases he made for himself or beating the police departments to unfounded cases that lay sprawled out somewhere in the darkest places of the city.

Even so, dinner would be the best part of everyday.

The family would come back from whatever it was they had been doing and sit together on the exquisite dining set. Traditionally, they would exchange greetings and start to talk about what they did. The conversation didn't stop while they were eating, it kept going.

It was the moments on that particular dining set that Aoi remembers what being a real family was like. A real family…

It's only a distant memory now. Once the first world plummeted and the recreations continued onwards, Aoi had not a care to give to his parents. His feelings for them had faded and like anyone else in those worlds that followed the first, Aoi felt numb to their presence.

With Akise's presence, he felt whole and the sensations were there. He wasn't this empty shell. He could finally relate to the human soul again and believe he's alive. That's all he needed.

"Huh?" He snapped out of it.

Akise laughed softly.

"I asked if you could wait a minute?"

"Why?" asked Aoi, sitting up.

"Don't sit up so fast," smiled Akise. "I'm going to get you something to eat. While I do that, you want to open your present?"

"That's what that bag is?" His brother couldn't help but raise his eyebrow. His brother hardly brought gifts, but… he couldn't resist it either way. It would be a gift his precious twin bought for _him._ He'll appreciate no matter what it ended up being.

Akise handed him the gift bag. The bag was dark black decorated with squiggly vines that Aoi found to be boring. Aoi took the bag nonetheless and didn't sneak a peek until his brother left the room. He reached into it, closing his eyes.

"What's my amazing present?" He asked himself.

What he pulled out wasn't what he expected. Well, he should've. Anything else would have broken from the capacity of the fall, which was partly his fault. Inside the bag was a fluffy stuffed animal that seemed to resemble a cat. In retrospect, Aoi didn't like cats but Akise loved them. He must have assumed the same for his brother—

Though, there was a time in a pet store that Akise and Aoi went to together in elementary. Akise had asked Aoi what he thought of the cats they saw with his doe and widely innocent amaranth eyes that Aoi couldn't find in his heart to harm. To Akise's satisfaction, he said he liked the cats.

He remembered that day.

It brought a smile to Aoi's lips. One goofy smile that he couldn't put back down and his brother noticed it when he came back with a tray of whatever food he brought that Aoi couldn't make out in the distance of the bed and door. Akise chuckled.

"It's good to see you so happy, Aoi." His twin murmured. He walked over to the window, on the sill clung a desk that hid two removable stools underneath. Akise set the tray down on that desk. He kicked one removable stool over to Aoi's side of the bed.

"What are you doing?" asked Aoi.

Akise picked the tray up from the desk. It carried a lidded silver bowl that came with a spoon and can of Cococola. Akise walked over to that side of the bed where the stool stopped and sat down on it.

"I'm going to feed you."

"I can feed myself!" protested Aoi, glaring.

"Don't be ridiculous." Akise laughed, he set the tray down on the clear nightstand. Once he opened the lid, Aoi smelled what soup it was. Chowder Clam Soup. It used to be his favorite soup in the first world, but as his feelings and remorse for everyone else in the world faded, so did his tastes of favorite foods.

He couldn't say that to Akise's smiling face.

"Say 'aaah!'" Akise emphasized by opening his own mouth.

He couldn't say no at all to his twin. He parted his lips and scooted closer to Akise. Akise carefully lifted a spoonful of soup into Aoi's mouth.

"Did I take awhile?" asked Akise.

"No, you took long enough." Aoi replied.

"I'm grateful for that." He laughed, feeding Aoi another spoonful. "How are your wounds healing?"

"Great, now that you're here."

"That makes me happy to hear."

The conversation after that was idle and small. Nothing too personal or extraordinary, but enough conversation to have Aoi feel much better about the atmosphere and enough for him to finish his soup, despite the sour aftertaste. Aoi would be embarrassed to have his twin feed him, but he found himself enjoying the attention especially when Akise lifted the can of Cococola for Aoi to drink that had a bendy straw for him to sip through.

"How's school?" asked Aoi.

"I'm skipping it." Akise didn't need to explain. By that statement, Aoi understood him enough to knew why and what.

"All of that drama makes me want to attend." Aoi smirked as he leaned his head back on the pillow.

"You can," said Akise, "_after_ you finish recovering."

"I have a while to wait then, huh?" Aoi sighed, closing his eyes.

"Yes, you do." admitted Akise, "But we'll spend that while, waiting together." He added, scooting closer. He wrapped his hand around Aoi's, the Cococola can long forgotten on the nightstand atop of the tray with the emptied bowl of soup.

"Don't get my hopes up." snickered Aoi, he peeked an eye open.

"I'm not. I'm serious." said Akise, looking at his brother worriedly.

"My bad." Aoi laughed it off. "Sorry, I've been having a hard day."

"No, I get it…" muttered Akise. "I have no idea what it's like to be you…"

Aoi closed his eyes again.

"You don't, but you're the only one I need to feel complete."

Aoi loves Akise with all of his heart and vice versa. He couldn't picture life with the two of them separated, but it seems that the chances of their lives continuing to have one another will be short-lived. It wasn't Akise's fault that Aoi was biologically diagnosed with Leukemia.

In every world, he struggled to stop it. Akise tried his hardest, it ripped his sanity each try. The soul of Akise's eyes would sink into the depths of indifferent and he would scream in frustration each same result he was given. Aoi hated to hear those screams and see his brother's eyes become that way.

The eleven recreations were nothing compared to the many lonely nights Aoi spent in different clinics by himself. He would be sent from his home to the clinics of renowned doctors, being paid heavily by his father, to somehow find a cure to his helpless disease. Those were unbearable nights where Aoi considered giving up on his life or stared up at the ceiling, on the brink of losing all hope as Akise was on the brink of losing all sanity.

He hasn't given up on everything yet because of his brother. Each time he stared at anyone else, burning hatred is visible in his amaranth eyes. Each time he smelled his once favorite foods, his nostrils twitch in disdain and he retches to himself. Each time he hears the music he used to love so much, he clutches to his ears and screams at the top of his lungs to shut off the hellish tunes invading his eardrums.

He doesn't want Akise to become like him. For now, he has to be stronger and tolerate this meaningless world much longer. Only for his brother would he go this far.

"I can't be your medicine." Akise replied truthfully. "Aoi, how can I be sure—"

"Why? Why are we thinking so far into the future?" Aoi smirked. It was a habit of his. He ran away from tragic and pain, hiding himself in practiced overconfidence and smugness that he's sure Akise is too naïve to see through. "Why don't we shake thoughts like that off and think about….Right now?" He cupped Akise's chin, smiling fondly at his twin.

"I have no reason to disagree…" Akise gave up, sighing softly.

The dimness in the room that followed wasn't that of nightfall. It was half-illuminated by a dark yellow setting sun, no longer bright enough to irritate the eyes. Akise rested his head next to where Aoi's leg would be underneath the sheets, staring at the window thoughtfully.

Aoi threaded his fingers through Akise's so-soft silver hair, smiling to himself. He could smell the faint scent of Akise's shampoo that he always used. Aoi could never forget Akise's fondness of lavenders. He snickered quietly to himself. He was sure that if lavender would be remotely edible, Akise wouldn't hesitate in sticking it into his mouth.

A thought that really downturned Aoi's lips, was the thought of that boy Akise had been pursuing from the very start. His eyes widened underneath the curtain of silver hair they hid underneath. He forgot about that boy.

The silence had begun to feel straining.

"Hey, Aru…"

"What is it, Aoi?"

"Do you think of me as much as you think of blue-eyes?" asked Aoi, for once in his life hoping his practiced overconfidence wasn't breaking as much as it sounded like it was in the subliminal lower of his tone. Blue-eyes had been a nickname that Aoi idly used to describe Akise's crush since the first time he laid eyes on him.

Akise blinked. He picked his head up and stared at his twin, whose eyes were downcast and unreadable and whose lips were downturned into a frown. Akise sighed. He considered it for a second as he looked down at his own lap.

It felt like eternities for Aoi as his twin thought about such a stupid question. He knew how pathetic and needy he sounded. He wanted to take that question right back but it was too late.

The small dip of the bed made Aoi look up from the white sheets. Akise climbed onto the bed, squeezing himself in to lie besides his brother and wrap his arms around the fragile body identical to his, save for the bandages. He pressed soft kisses to his brother's hair and sighed against the softness of the silver strands.

"Always." He simply whispered. He held his brother closer against him.

"Then, can you kiss me?" asked Aoi, uncharacteristically quiet and weak.

* * *

A/N: Some fanservice for the ladies.


End file.
